I'm so sick of this.

It's always me calling people.

I can't even remember the last time somebody organised something with me.

It's always me organising something for people, with me included.

It's not so much that I find organising things difficult. In fact, I find it supremely easy.

Which is why I find it both telling and very, very sad that I very rarely get invited to things.

Yeah, sure. Work. Of course. But surely you don't work 10 hours a day, every day of the week?

It's my own fault I guess. Obviously people don't like me enough for me to cross their minds once in a while. Clearly I don't mean as much to them as they mean to me.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm almost crying while writing this. It hurts.

I guess that's why I appreciate it so much when someone shows that they actually care. Just saying hi. Or checking on how I'm doing. Something. I don't know. Anything.

I hate how I'm not even the most social person, but I feel terrible after about a week of not seeing a friend.

It's sad. I think I've known this for a while, but I've just become man enough to acknowledge it. I don't think I really have many, if any, close friends. Again, my fault. I don't let anybody get close to me. I don't know why. I hope one day I do find someone that I can open me up, keep me from bottling up all these things.

In summary, I need a hug.