Speechless

Finally, finally finished my speech today.

More accurately called a roleplay. But here at The Huangout Place, we never let technicalities get in the way of good puns.

Whatever you want to call it, it's finally done. Was totally over it by 11 o'clock this morning.

In hindsight, I should've actually done the work instead of my group member doing about half of it. I mean, she tried. She was a great group member in that respect. It's just some of the questions didn't really like to the answers, and vice versa, and some of the stuff seemed a bit random.

Anyway, it is done. And I think it was done well. Got some positive feedback, and all that. Now I can fully focus my attention on what I do best (based on past history etc): writing.

I'd like to conclude by paying tribute to Lionel Messi. This morning, at the tender age of 24, he comprehensively destroyed the all-time goalscoring record at Barcelona by scoring his eighth hat-trick for the season. I just realised that he's only two years older than I am. And that he's probably going to get even better. And he's going to have the best midfielder in the world, Fabregas, feeding him assists for at least the next half a decade.

Also, he's pretty much the only player on the whole team who didn't engage in Fabregas fetish when they were trying to sign him from Arsenal. All round good guy, and a pretty good player too.

Here are the goals that did it for him this morning:



Should've signed him, Arsene, should've signed him.  

Word of the Day: Messi

Le World Cup

I was informed by Marie, the French exchange student that Sarah has staying over, that in France, they call the World Cup...

...wait for it...

...this is so momentous it deserves a proper set-up...

"Le World Cup!"

Said, of course, with the requisite French accent. World-changing, that bit of information. You know, I don't really want to be going "Le Coup de Monde" every time I speak to a French person about the World Cup.

Speaking of accents, how funny is that Ronaldo ad? I don't know why. His accent is just funny. The first thing that strikes me (har har) is his pronunciation of places. Or, as he says it, play-cez. Here it is here, in all its glory.



I also love how he says "so do I" and "liquid engineering". "So-doh-why." "Likwud engineerink." Gotta love the guy. An arrogant, self-important, antagonistic, ball-hogging guy, but a joy to watch. The Premier League is a lot less exciting without him.

And speaking of French, a real pity about how the French team went out. Such a talent-laden team, ruined by in-fighting and politics. The would've done really well if they'd actually functioned as a unit.

And here we sit, on the eve of Australia's do-or-die match. Yes, the Ghana one was do-or-die. But this one is really do-or-die. Personally, I think 'die' is a bit intense. Having said that, it does promise to be a great morning (early, early morning at that too) of football, as so much can happen, and so much is dependent on what happens simultaneously in the other game. I love how people are talking about it as though Serbia are just waiting to be beaten, and it just depends on how much we beat them by.

Serbia, just at first glance, have one of the best defences going around. Just Vidic and Ivanovic alone would constitute a top defence. And the other two apparently aren't shabby either. One's going to Real Madrid, the other is apparently wanted at several awesome clubs too. Oh, and they also beat Germany, something which we failed to do.

However, as I have seen far too many times over the years, football is a crazy game. I've just realised at this moment how many random completely unexpected moments I've actually witnessed, and I don't even watch it on TV all that often. Arsenal v Liverpool in the Champions League quarter-finals second leg a few years back. Arsenal taking a one-goal lead at the Nou Camp, and subsequently getting destroyed by Messi. Wigan beating Arsenal at the tail-end of last season. Australia managing a draw with Croatia last World Cup. Chelsea getting knocked out by Barca in virtually the last minute of their second leg Champions League semi-final game. Kevin Muscat, the guy who never, ever misses a penalty, missing a penalty in the A-League Grand Final. Cronaldo, the guy who almost never, ever misses penalties, missing the Champions Leageu final.

The point is, anything can happen, and I believe that something crazy may just happen tomorrow. Yes, the odds are in favour of Australia losing regardless of what happens in the other game, but this is football, and part of its beauty is that the unexpected happens all the time.

Let's go Socceroos!

Word of the Day: Unexpected

It was not a nightmare

Wooooo. Three days of ups and downs. One could almost say it's been hektik. If I were to sketch a graph about it, it'd be almost parabolic. Almost.

Okay, so slight exaggeration. But only slightly.

It started on Monday. Duh.

Because I apparently drive a yellow Ford Falcon, and because my name is apparently Sanjay (this is all according to Meng), I drove all the way to Clayton to pick Meng up, and then back my way to pick Vincenzo up to go to Linda's Ambassador reunion bash. I drove them down to Forest Hill for some last-minute shopping, which was a party in itself.

Arriving at Linda's street, I was all like "Why is this car stalking me?" Unbeknownst to me, it was Linda stalking us, in her stalkermobile. Mega confusion about house numbers, but we got there in the end.

And a quaint little house she has. It's of the warm and cosy variety, with a massive garden. Enormous garden. Could fit a circus tent there. And chickens.

Anyway, we finally got the oven going thanks to the genius of Vince, and other people started turning up. We ended up cooking lasagne, with Seb in charge. I learnt the well-guarded secret of how to make lemon and lime bitters. A secret which has been passed down the generations of the Gao family, and they guard with their lives. Kind of makes you wonder how I know it now.

We met Linda's massive brother, Jonath...I mean, Bill. He's in Year 7, and he's about a head taller than I am. We had some Wii fun. Well, they did. The irony is I never got to face off against Bill. He's pretty cool, by the way. We also had a bonfire and Mafia madness. I think there are some people who are still confused about the logic and object of the game, but what can you do? Run a Mafia seminar?

It was at this point where I was made to feel awkward. I made a gay reference in the presence of a gay person. Like, it wasn't that bad. It's not like I was insulting gay people. Or even laughing at them. But still, I feel kind of bad for doing it now.

We then played darts. Clearly, I'm awesome at that game. More like awesome at putting holes in the wall behind the dartboard!

Driving home was a bit scary. I ran a red light right outside the house, purely by accident, because it was an obscure red light, and there were no cars. The roads were actually empty.

Very fun night in all, apart from the no alcohol business, and the tactless gay reference. Not that I drink alcohol or anything, but a white wine wouldn't have gone amiss. Actually, I should have just had one. Stupid. Regrets. However, I did not turn a night out into a nightmare, so I did my parents, and the Government, proud.

Tuesday was more Wii fun at Banh's. Again, fewer people turned up than expected, but Linda's is the only thing I've been to that had more people turn up than expected. Like, ever. So it's really not that great a surprise. And it was still very fun. Well, I thought so.

From thereon in, it started getting bad. When I got home, my father was not a happy chappy. Some issues with relatives in that place called China. Not that that directly affected me or anything, but I just find it hard to be happy when people close to me aren't. Maybe I'm like some sort of reverse Dementor.

Then, the yesterday morning, Arsenal got thumped by a very good Barcelona team. I'm actually proud of the lads though. To get into the lead against Barca, even if for a few minutes, at the Camp Nou, takes some doing. Especially with five of their best players out, including their captain and best midfielder in the world. Playing against a team with a player like Messi. Absolutely majestic. You forget that he's only 168cm tall, or something like that. That's how scary he is. He just runs into the box at will, dragging you left, right, left, right. At pace too. And on aggregate, the Gunners scored three goals against the best team in Europe. Not many teams can pull that off.

Ok, so not much of a parabola. Told you it was a bit of an exaggeration. I should probably get some work done soon.

Word of the Day: Parabola

I've always maintained that it was a lame name

And so, Melbourne Victory have managed to make a fool of their team name again, and have gone and lost the Grand Final.

For the neutral, it was a good Grand Final. 1-1, went to penalties, and Muscat misses his first penalty like, ever, by hitting a post.

Ah well. Let's hope the Arsenal beat West Ham tomorrow, and go top of the league for the first time since forever. Shame we drew Barca in the Champions League, but one can't have everything in life.

Word of the Day: Victory

Arsenal signs Isaac Ho for an undisclosed fee

Ha. That got your attention didn't it? Wish it would come true though. He'd be a lot better than all of those so-called holding midfielders combined. If it does happen, you heard it here first.

My point was that I think it's time for a boring football talk post. So let's talk football.

We'll start with Arsenal. I hope they sign people. Namely a holding midfielder. And a central defender. And hopefully a decent striker as well. And possibly a full-back. And another striker, just in case they all get injured, which they have a knack of doing. Also to replace Bendtner when he decides to act as a defender for the opposition.

I'm pretty glad they got rid of Adebayor. He was way, way, way too full of himself. Very, very good sell. Toure, not so good, but what can you do? Money talks.

Barca and Inter. That was the deal of the century for Inter. They get Eto'o, Hleb on loan and 40-something million Euros, for Zlatan Ibrahimovic. I am of the opinion that I wouldn't have paid more than 40-something million Euros for Zlatan, let alone trade one awesome player and a good bench-warmer on top of that. I'm sure Guardiola knows what he's doing. He did win the treble after all. That's gotta count for something.

Ridiculous Real. I was just thinking today, why don't they just create another team instead of trying to offload all these players? Just create a Real Madrid Rejects team, shunt all those unwanted players there, and they can dominate the lower leagues, and sell more shirts at the same time. Good business plan yeah? Bet you they steal it off me. Watch them create a new team next week.

I've decided that if I get uber-rich one day, I'll buy half shares in Arsenal and buy whatever team Roy Keane is coaching at that time. Also, flying pigs will be a common occurrence by that time.

Word of the Day: Football

Real Madrid musings and Rush-released essays

The hot topic of the moment (at least in the football world): Real Madrid and their Galacticos Project Segundo(c) (I think that means Second Galacticos Project). I know everybody has been hanging out for my expert, in-depth, left-field analysis, so here it is.

I'd first like to point out that the last Galacticos project was a footballing, if not economic, failure. Sure, they sold a lot of jerseys to people in Asia. It was alright for the first two seasons. After 2003, the year after they signed Ronaldo, they didn't win anything for three years. And they had Zidane.

The reason for this failure, a reason which looks like being repeated, was the lack the defensive players being signed. This looks like being repeated, with the signings of Kaka and Cronaldo, and the about-to-be-signed rumours of David Villa, Silva, and pretty much anyone who likes to run forward. But no defensive players.

Another contributing factor, which will definitely be repeated this time around, is the titanic clashing of mega egos. This players are all established stars, who each own more trophies than the whole of the Liverpool team combined. It's simple really. Everybody knows that the goal scorers get the glory (and the pay rise). Who's going to pass the ball when they all think that they can score from where they are? And who's going to tell the big star that, instead of belting it from 40m out and missing by double that distance, that maybe they should have passed to the guy who was closer?

A third reason for potential failure, which also occurred last time, was, and still is: how do their arch-rivals Barca do it? They have stars. But not on the scale that Real Madrid propose to have. Every successful team has foot soldiers. Players that get the job done with minimal flair, with little ego, and maximal efficiency, who are willing to sit on the bench if need be. Good teams have good foot soldiers. Real, seemingly pressing for a team made out of 23 stars, will not have these uncomplaining, hard-working players that teams like Barca have. These big-name players actually sulk when put on the bench, ala Cronaldo. I also believe that the footballing philosophy of Barca is also important. The signings they make are in tandem with their style of play. Real just seem content with getting the perceived top players without considering whether they fit their style of football, or whether they really need another person in that position.

I believe that this rash and exorbitant amount of spending will only have an inflationary pressure on the transfer market. Real don't even negotiate. I don't know why, but they just don't. Their transfers all seem to be made in some haste, like the transfer window's closing tomorrow. It seems as though they approach the team that has the player they want, offer an amount of money that no sane club could possibly refuse, and get their player in two days. Why thought? It begs the question of where they get their money from. It's not scary how much money clubs buy players for. What's scary is the fact that they have faith in their ability to make that money back, with a surplus, so they can pay wages and whatnot, and actually still make a massive profit each year.

Good luck to them. If they can pull it off, it should be good football to watch. If, as I suspect it will, dissolve into a haze of in-fighting and massive bust-ups, it'll still be entertaining, in a different way.

And on to the Essay That I Wrote in a Night(c).

Success! Contrary to what I had expected, my essay did not take 18 hours or so to complete. So instead of working up til 1 on Thursday night/Friday morning, waking up at 6 the next day/that day and handing it in at 4, I stayed up til two, woke up at 6 and handed it in at 1. Quality was down a bit, but shouldn't be as bad as what my tutor expects it to be. Which, I guess, is all one can hope for when one writes a 2000-word essay in one night.

Word of the day: Real Madrid

Mysteries that may never be solved

It's been a big few days.

First up, in the immediate aftermath of Man Utd's destruction, I forgot to say how highly I regard Pep Guardiola. That guy is just phenomenal. First season in charge, wins everything on offer with a team that played like rubbish just last season. And he made them do it with style and coolness. Well done.

Second thing, although not exactly big, is me becoming...

Official BusEco Ambassador for Monash University (Clayton Campus).

It would be pretty cool to tell everybody, except for the fact that I have no idea what the job entails. I'm supposed to go on camp. But then what? I'm supposed to...ambass?

Third thing - and this ranks higher on the stupidity scale than on the big scale - is me epicly getting destroyed in the stats assignment. Which isn't disturbing in itself. What's disturbing is I lost almost 40%, and I don't even know how. I mean, I didn't even make that many mistakes. After performing a regression, I now conclude that my tutor is a ridiculously hard marker. Oh well. I'll get over it.

Word of the day: Ambassador

Barca the passer

My theory is right. Good things happen on Thursdays.

That little team called Barcelona (which, incidentally, was the team that I supported in La Liga since Ronaldinho was there, because I liked Ronaldinho and their kit colour) ripped Man Utd to shreds. No question about it. Messi, and I would contend, Xavi, are both better than Cronaldo. They work within the team as well as solo. Great stuff.

It also begs the question: does Messi practice his headers? For such a short guy, that was quite a skillful header.

Also: all tests are finally over for the semester! Yes, I'm an optimist at times like these. I've only got those little exam things left, and that small essay worth 40% of my mark to do. But we must celebrate the small things, such as tests being over for the semester.

Onward to the glory and honour of exams!

Word of the day: Barcelona

Hala Barca!

And here it is again! The Champions League Final! That day when even Australians wake up to watch the soccah.

Realistically, Man U probably have a greater chance of winning, but I'm sure Barca has a few aces and various other things hidden up their sleeves.

Looking forward to hopefully watching Messi rip through the United defence.

See you on the other side.

Word of the day: Barcelona