Change and notebooks.

I approach the official beginning of my working life with no little amount of trepidation. A little bit of exhilaration, but mostly trepidation. Expidation, if you will.

Most of it has revolved around a niggling anxiety regarding how everything will work out.

Will I still be able to maintain a semblance of a social life? Exercise? Family? Friends? Just casual leisure?

Some of it, I guess, is also dependant on others. Many of my friends, for example, also start full-time work now, or roughly now. So it's all well and good if I manage to make time for them, but it also relies on them making time for me.

I've sort of eased this slight worry with a large dose of que sera, sera. I've been thrown into situations previously where I've thought that there was no way I'd manage, and, while not always triumphing in a blaze of glory and awesome, I have by and large scraped by. Also, trying to not think about it also helps a bit.

A secondary element that has me slightly concerned is just the notion of change. I know it's an inevitable part of life, change is now the norm, we have to learn to adapt, blah blah blah. And, even if I do say so myself, I'm fairly good at adapting to change. That doesn't mean that I necessarily love getting thrust into entirely new environments and more or less fending for myself.

Again, I've tried to adopt a que sera, sera attitude about it all, with a larger dose of trying to not think about it.

I also feel as though I haven't really made the most of my holidays. Not enough travel and stuff. I hope I get time to do that later.

In happier news, I have resolved my notebook situation. I've acquired myself a snazzy new largish notebook for general note-taking purposes. It's from kikki.k, and really cool (found here). The paper's white, but edged with black so it looks like it's a black book full of black pages. But it's not!

Also, full leather. Except for the pages, obviously.

All black everything.

Boom! Yeah, deceptive.

I've also ordered some pocket Moleskine cahiers from Book Depository for a grand total of seven dollars something. They're fitting right into the inside pocket of my suit jacket, for on-the-go note-taking purposes. This was the main notebook issue that I'd been trying to resolve, as everything else is either too hard or too bulky for a suit jacket. For some reason, despite my being a Moleskine fanboy, I hadn't thought about getting one from them. Bizarre. But there it was, after hours of searching. It also didn't help that Book Depo had an inconsistent naming system, which led me to think there was only one colour (I know, calamity).

Mad as, and for a great price. The one on the right is the one I've ordered.

I love notebooks. There's just something really cool about them.

Word of the Day: Expidation

These could be the best days of our liiiiives.

The more astute of you would have realised that I have been back home for a while now. Up until now, I haven't really found the effort to write about it. But here I am, backstory and all explaining why I've taken so long to do what I'm about to do.

Right into it then.

Hong Kong was fun. Saw some relos, which is always a good experience, given that I see them about once every half a century. Or something. I also bought far, far more than I should have, mostly because stuff is so cheap there, but also mostly because stuff is a lot more cooler over there.

By stuff, I mean clothes and stuff. Hey, I never claimed to be a wordsmith.

The trip as a whole was absolutely amazing. Yes, there were difficult moments. Yes, it was a long time to be away from home. Yes, it did cost me a fair bit. But you know, it was all in the name of learning and having fun. And all of the experiences I had, all the stuff I learnt, all the places I visited, all the sights I saw, all the fantastic people I met, all the tan I got, made all the minute difficulties worth it.

I am, however, glad to be home. There's nothing quite like going overseas to strange countries (I'm looking at you, Poland and Lithuania) to make you realise how great Australia really is. I also got a bit sick of living in hotel rooms, not driving myself around, and just generally being semi-beholden to what fate/mischance had in store for me.

I also missed people back home. Friends, family, etc.

And Melbourne water. That stuff is heavenly. They should export that stuff. Especially to Poland, where the water is acidic and filled with mercury. Or something.

Coming back home, however, means dealing with all the homie stuff. You know, assessments, thesis, losing my tan, readjusting to actually having to do work, remembering to not start speaking Polish to people (I'm pretty much fluent in Polish now, it's kind of like my mother tongue, except my mother isn't from Poland), readjusting to the fact that people aren't surprised at the fact that I speak English, and reverting back to not enunciating clearly when speaking with strangers. Not all of that is necessarily bad, but I'll let you sort out which is which.

Thesis is killing me a little bit. I'm still trying to figure out which direction I'm going to take it in. Urgh.

And because I didn't get enough of England (or lack of sleepness) on my trip, I'm going to do a pre-dawn wake-up to watch the Opening Ceremony of the Olympic Games, which, for my friends who dwell under rocks, is in England this time around. I'll see you online tomorrow morning then.

Word of the Day: Back

Hits and misses.

I thought the following post had accidentally been deleted, and that it was for the better, as it was a bit emo and not very good. However, owing to the fact that I can't be bothered retyping/editing, and also to the fact that it's ok, I'm going to post anyway. So I'm going back on my decision to go back. Yeah. It starts now!
_____________________

Doing stuff in Warsaw, having deepish chats at the hotel bar, going for a walk in the Warsaw thunderstorm, it's all been good fun.

For some reason, right now, I just want to go home. Or at least, Hong Kong.

I think it has something to do with the fact that doing the same thing every day, with the same people, brings out all the nuts from the bolts. Some people I'm starting to get sick of, although they're quite few and far between.

I'm also starting to miss seeing old friends. People that understand me, I understand them, etc. Same goes with family. Meeting new people has been amazing. Some of these people are fantastic individuals, and I'm glad and grateful to have met them, and will definitely keep in touch with after the trip. However, some people have started to grate on my nerves a little on a part-time basis. But whatever. It's just a couple of weeks, and it's almost over anyway. It's also good for practicing patience and diplomacy.

So in a sense, because of this duality, the good people and the getting on my nerves people, I'll be both sad and relieved when this trip ends.

Anyway, it's not all been doom and gloom. In between breakfast yesterday morning and walking in the thunderstorm last night (craziest thing I've done in a while - not that I really do a lot of crazy things), we managed to fit in a Chopin concert in a Warsaw park.

It was the most beautiful moment on this trip so far. Amazing how we visit death camps etc, and the thing that makes me most emotional is some Chopin in the park.

Right at the start, I actually semi-cried. I believe it was this piece:

The piece that almost made me cry.

Just everything together - the park, learning about the Holocaust, the thinking about relationships, missing home, the beauty of the music. It had a wonderful ability to speak about both yearning, hope, and sadness.

It sounds cheesy, but it just made me wish I had a special someone to share the moment with, and really highlighted for me the major thing lacking in my life right now.

It also highlighted how despite man's propensity for killing each other, we are also capable of indescribable beauty. Music speaks, and when it does, it's in a universal language.

After that piece, I just settled into a sort of melancholy, reflective torpor, rather than acute sadness and yearning.

A break from all that faux-deep stuff now. Warsaw city is pretty ugly to be honest. However, the heart of the city, where the Old City is, is quite nice. Reminded me of Venice a little bit.

Anyway, should be ok by tomorrow. Just need to get some alone time for a few minutes at the bar or something.
__________

So after typing that load of drivel, Sam subsequently picked me up from sitting in the lobby by myself like a loser, and semi-conscripted me into shopping with him, tall Meg, and Scarlett. It was kind of what I really needed at that moment, despite my desire to not talk to anyone for a bit. Cheers Sam.

So right now, I'm in Bialystock, which apparently is in Poland. I pretty much know nothing about it apart from that.

And as predicted yesterday, I'm pretty much ok now. I no longer have a burning desire to get away. I've decided not to let people who are attempting to grate on my nerves to actually do it, which has pretty much solved that particular issue.

So off to Lithuania tomorrow. I almost have no idea what that country involves, which should be interesting.

Word of the Day: Faux

New Years Eve 2011

New Years Eve, in case you hadn't noticed, and, I guess a recap of the year is in order.

I can't even be bothered going through everything that's happened this year, both on a personal level and more widely. All the disasters, the economy, job hunting, uni, exams, friends, jettisoning of friends, the passing of Steve Jobs, more music released from my favourite artists for me to enjoy, the departure of Fabregas, Sarah's outrageous ATAR score, and many, many, many other things besides, all added up to a year that had its moments, and had its bad moments. And, of course, it wouldn't be a normal year without Arsenal going another season trophyless.

It just occurred to me that this year, my girl problems seemed to have reduced drastically. I think it's mainly to do with the fact that the problems seem to resolve themselves, in that the girls I get interested in are usually taken, and the case is closed quicker than you can say 'sup', and the other ones are just me being gutless. The problems still exist, but I had other things that annoyed me more.

It's been a pretty good year. I mean, I don't think there's ever been a year for me which has been truly horrible. Obviously, it could have been a lot better, but isn't that always the case, to varying degrees?

A big part of this year has been photography. Thanks to my lovely friends gifting me a DSLR for my birthday, I've been able to go on photo rampages of fairly high quality. It's something that I'd missed, because photography with the old SLR was positively correlated to the price of developing photos. In human speak, film and developing photos got really expensive and inconvenient, and, as a result, I stopped using the camera that used film. I need to spend some money on some photography equipment, but that's another story for another time.

It's been a good release at times when I needed a break, or just to get away from things that were bugging me. Just a good opportunity to go and explore a little bit, look at things a bit differently, and it reminds me, whenever I hop behind the lens, that despite all the insignificant trials and tribulations that I have, and all the sadness and madness in the world, that there is so much beauty and happiness in the world, if only I stop to observe. And sometimes actively seek.

Finally, a shout out to my friends and family. My friends, for helping me with so many different things throughout the year. I've jettisoned a number of now ex-friends who were just terrible human beings, and some not so much jettisoned as distanced because they annoy me. Whatever. The thing that I am really thankful for is that I've gotten to be much better friends with friends that actually enjoy my company, and vice versa. Some (actually, most) of you, I've spent less time with than I would have liked to, but that's kind of how the cookie crumbles. You're all wonderful people. You know who you are. And if you don't, or you're uncertain, you're probably not one of them. Or you can just ask me to make sure.

Finally finally, my family. They've been there through my failures, and my semi-successes, and are always there, even when nobody else is. When I've expected them to be disappointed, they've been nothing but supportive. Of course, like with my friends, there are moments when we clash, but they're few and far between, and often quickly forgotten. I'm pretty glad that Sarah got the 99.85. Made everyone really happy, mostly because it was so unexpected, but also because it was so outrageously good, and kind of balances out my academic mediocrity. More on that in another post, I think.

So, friends, and family, I hope you have an even more fun, fabulous, fantastic, and fruitful year than the one that's just passed, and I hope to share many more happy moments, and be able to help you through times of trouble (hope there's not too many of those) in 2012.

See you soon.

Word of the Day: 2011    

Masterdream

I had the strangest dream just then. Let's go through it.

So I was in Metung. For some reason, Banh turned up. He was waiting for his family to turn up. I was with my family. We were talking about fish or something. I think he was there to give me something, or something like that. He was going to leave, being all like "I can wait by myself if you want, I'll leave you guys along," being all mopey and suchlike.

So my dad, being the nice guy he is, says, "Nah, you can stay with us for a couple of hours." Naturally, Banh is delighted at this.

Fast forward a couple of hours.

We're on Masterchef. I don't know how that happened. Somehow, we got transported to Masterchef Metung.

I was stuck on a team with an Asian girl and some other dude that I can't remember now. I don't think I ever knew who they were. My other friends were there competing against me. James Cheng and Banh were definitely there.

So anyway, we kept losing, but none of the people there actually cooked anything at all. I just know that after every round (each round involved us sitting there for 10 seconds), the judges would give us ridiculously low scores. Like, 52% for me, and a few 40s for me other team mates. I knew that they were biased and out to get me. I mean, how is it even possible to get that low in cooking-but-not-actually? In the end, my whole team got put up for elimination. Then the girl in our team was punished with watching me and the other guy having to have a cook-off.

I was incensed. I had outscored both of them, but the girl got immunity (somehow I knew that that was immunity).

We went outside, and shook hands to say bye to everybody. Meng had suddenly appeared as a contestant, so I was shaking hands with him. Zara had just turned up as well, so we chatted for a bit. I think she wished me luck as well. I think she was the only one that knew I was up for the elimination challenge, such that it was. None of my friends who were actually there knew, but Zara did. Typical. I knew they didn't know, because they were all surprised when I told them, or my mystery friend behind me told them the reason for why I kept telling people I was nervous. "He's in the elimination challenge!!!" So, well done Zara.

I can't remember whether I kept saying I was nervous to just one person, or everyone. Whatever. Point is, I was nervous. "I don't know how to cook anything," I kept saying. Which, now that I think about it, is not true. But since when have dreams made sense? I just know that I kept thinking of what I was going to make for entree, and thinking that all I knew how to cook was tofu. Nice tofu, but tofu will only get you so far in Masterchef Metung.

It was at this point I woke up. I think it's because it just became way too unrealistic. I mean, me, not being able to cook? That probably created a hole in the space-time continuum of the dream. The other parts were zany, but that last part was just the proverbial straw the broke the proverbial camel's back.

Actually, it might just've been the alarm waking me up. I hate it when it does that. I was looking forward to the cook-off too, pitting my skills against an unknown foe, and ultimately overcoming biased judges. Maybe next time I'm in Metung.

Word of the Day: Continuum

Hmm

For some reason, I'm feeling a bit unsettled again.

Not unsettled as in I want to randomly uproot myself and relocate somewhere, just more not very happy with many things.

I don't know what it is exactly. I think it's a combination of things. All of which are too trivial to mention separately, but each of which kind of make me a little bit upset/melancholy/unhappy/blue, and all add up to one little pile of bleurgh. Friends, family, girls (or lack thereof), uni (even though it's not uni season), etc. Same old, same old. And yet, isn't it funny how it's always the same old problems that bug us? Or, at least it is with me.

There have, of course, been bright spots. It's just when I'm not within one of these bright spots, I sort of feel a bit blueish. Kind of like a pale blue. Or a bluey purple.

I also just realised that a month and a bit of holidays is not really all that much. It just sort of goes. Like a Ferrari. Or a G6.

Word of the Day: Melancholy

Merry Christmas 2010

While this Christmas has been relatively uneventful compared to the last few, I reckon it's actually been good that we've been able to just enjoy some family time together. Would've been a lot better had Sarah not been in France, but that's just how the cookie crumbles sometimes.

I'm fairly disappointed that Kris Kringle didn't go ahead this year, but again, in many ways, it's not such a bad thing. Although I do like exchanging presents, but there's no real point to it if nobody's up for it.

I was tossing up whether to go to Boxing Day 'sales' tomorrow or not. I'm now leaning heavily towards the 'not', mainly because I don't really have all that much to buy, or all that much money to spend. And really, the 'sales' that most stores offer are either on one or two dodgy items, or they're sales you can find at any time of the year. Also, too many people. I have a mild phobia of crowds. A mild, mild phobia. And it's not irrational. I think it's an extremely rational fear.

Plus, it's either sales or working for dad tomorrow. I think I know where my loyalties lie. And possibly, if we smash out enough work tomorrow, I might be able to catch the Arsenal game on Tuesday. Not that that has anything to do with me wanting to work tomorrow or anything.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to you all. Hope you all had a fantastic day today, full of laughter, quality time with friends and family, and, most importantly of all, love.

Word of the Day: Phobia

I swear they just get more and more annoying

For the life of me I cannot understand the mentality of people that go out looking for fights. Then again, as my parents always say, if I understood, I'd be one of them.

There I am, having lunch with my family at Knox, when this jerk, who looks no older than 10, shines a laser in my eye. I stare him down, he thinks it's funny, so I stare him down some more. He decides that it's not really that funny after all, and decides to stop being a jerk. It really makes my blood boil, people who randomly pick fights. If I wasn't worried that a tap on the shoulder from me would probably end up with him hospitalised, I would've been at him straight away. I was staring at him as he left. The pansy wouldn't even meet my eye. Lesson for today: guys (and I use that term loosely in this case) who wear purple hoodies, with the hood on inside, are most likely annoying Justin Bieber-wannabes.

In hindsight, he probably thought that all Asians were shy and easily bullied. Not in my part of town, idiot child.

Anyway, enough about annoying, irritating, cocky, ego-tripping pre-teens. On to some happier stuff.

Which I don't have much of right now. Just started at the accounting practice, am reasonably adept at what I've learnt to do so far (well, at least I think so), and have only managed to get lost on the way there twice. Oh. Wait. I've only been there twice. Hmm.

Oh, Arsenal won last night. Top of the league!!! For about five minutes. But still. Any good news is welcome right about now. Or any time really. Watching it made me pretty nervous, but it wouldn't be watching Arsenal if it were any other way.

I'm finding it quite difficult to organise stuff to do with people, mostly owing to the fact that nobody really seems to have a desire to do anything other than Banh. I understand that some are busy. Others are just...meh. I dunno. Whatever. I don't really mind anymore. I have plenty of stuff that I can spend time doing in the absence of people, friends or otherwise. Cleaning my room, for instance. Or reading my Leaders readings. Or...yeah. Okay. Guess I'll just have to drag out the room-cleaning process a bit longer.

Word of the Day: Pre-teen

It's better than chocolate

Ah. Retail therapy. Nothing makes you happy/less mopey more quickly than retail therapy.

Yes, I bought my leather jacket. My wardrobe is close to complete.

Having my sister's French exchange student around - Marie is her name, saves me typing/copying and pasting 'my sister's French exchange student' - is also quite fun, as you're kind of always out and about. There's also a certain sense of satisfaction and zing that can be derived from seeing people find delight in things that we take for granted. Certainly takes the mind off things somewhat.

Maybe takes the mind off things a little too much. I also forgot to buy Lily's birthday present, despite my outing to Southbank today. And I had a whole plan hatched out about how to get it too. Sigh.

That was a little lie about retail therapy, by the way. There are many, many things that make/could make me much, much happier. With these things, there's no slight depression stage after the splurge involved. Depression brought on, after the purchase, by the realisation that you have to find a way to pay off this credit card debt.

Word of the Day: Southbank

Sorry

Honest to God, I try to be a good person. I really do. I try to do right by all my friends and my family. Where I can, I try to make them happy. I'm not perfect, but I would never do something to intentionally hurt them.

I don't think people appreciate this very often though. Off the top of my head, apart from my family, I can probably name three or four people that recognise the fact that the things I do for them I don't do for just any random on the street.

Maybe it's my prickly personality. I don't think it really endears me to people. The vengeful side to me hopes that they'll realise how much I did for them when I'm out of their life. But I also realise that I'm probably not that important.

In summary, I have no idea why all of a sudden so many people are hating on me. Specifically the hatred from one particular person stings the most. If I've offended you unintentionally, I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry. I don't know how I did it, because I never intend to hurt my friends, but I think I have. I don't know what else I can do because you're not talking to me.

I know you probably won't read this, person that I am talking to, so I'm probably talking to myself. But a flaw with me, and with many people, is clinging onto hope when there is barely any left.

Word of the Day: Sorry

Exstrospective

Today I'm going to take a break from the introspective stuff, even though there's a lot to talk about. I'm just sick of talking about it, and I'm sure you're sick of hearing about it.

Time to talk some physical changes.

So like, at the start of the holidays, I weighed 97 kilos, down three from my peak of 100 or so. Then, I slowly climbed back up.

For some strange reason or another, now I'm back down to 95. And I've gained muscle from working out a bit. So it's like a double win. Better keep it up.

I'm at a strange stage...um...physique-wise. I'm starting to see some muscle beneath all that flab. And I can even see some abs. So the answer, I guess, is to lose the flab. Biking, swimming, and all that jazz.

I thought swimming would help my knee. It hasn't. It's destroying it. It's worse than before now. It hurts going up stairs sometimes.

The good thing is, (I think) I don't actually look as fat as I am. I don't know if people are being nice or not, but when I ask them, people generally say around 80. And I can sort of tell by deduction that they don't really consider me fat, because they tell fat jokes around me. It's like how you don't tell Asian jokes around Asians, but if you don't consider them Asian, then it's alright. Or maybe I'm just pushing it a bit far. Story of my life.

Anyway, I shall continue along this path to becoming The Ultimate Man. So the physique part is coming along alright. The girlfriend part has stalled somewhat, for reasons unknown to me. Studies are sort of going alright, what with the crazy real estate thing. I told my family how much they mean to yesterday night. God, that took guts. After that, I don't think many other things will make me nervous, apart from telling a girl that I like her. That might come close.

That just highlights how much I hide in my shell emotionally. Also, it highlights how I have recently developed a tendency to be introspective.

But yes. Ultimate Man. I also have a car, albeit by the grace of my parents. I have also opened up a bit to my friends, and I think they know I care about them. Onwards, Andrew, onwards.

Word of the Day: Exstrospective

Annoyed Part 6

So I was looking forward to tomorrow a lot.

Now I'm just annoyed. Everyone in my family just seems to be totally against the idea of simple. They have a tendency to make simple things very difficult.

It's just a BBQ. In essence, it consists of very little.

1. Shop for stuff to BBQ.
2. Prepare the stuff for BBQ.
3. BBQ the stuff.
4. Serve and eat. Arguably could be split into two steps.

There. Four, possibly five if you want to be pedantic about it, simple, self-explanatory, easy-to-follow steps.

Not so, according to my family.

"How will you cook the stuff? Who's going to look after the dog? Women's finals is on tomorrow night!"

I've cooked BBQs before.

The dog can look after itself.

Ok, so the women's final was a slight oversight, but not really my fault. It was either make it a school night, which I got told not to, or tomorrow, or like a month after my birthday. See the conundrum? Who watches women's tennis anyway?

Also, they don't seem to find it one bit awkward, them being there at the table with my friends. It's not like I mind them being there. I love my family. It's just with that many of my friends there, I don't know what they'd do with themselves. My friends and my family. It's like, what we do is different to what they do.

They were supposed to clear the house. But now, after they've used those above arguments, it doesn't look like happening. I should've just made it a dinner in the city or something. Much simpler, less time consuming, less frustration-inducing, almost makes more sense economically, don't have to take care of the dog, get table service, can actually do stuff afterwards. Problem was, I expected a lot more people to turn up. Who knew that half my friends would be overseas?

In summary, this is way more trouble than I bargained for. I just hope it somehow works itself out. If not, I guess my friends will just have to talk to my parents. What should've been a rollicking event has just now pretty much turned into 'meh' at this stage. I hope events tomorrow conspire to change this. Please.

Also, I hope that my friends like sitting outside eating, mucking around with a guitar, drinking, talking and/or listening to music. Because that's pretty much what's going to be going on, seeing as the TV will be taken by women's tennis lovers.

I guess it was a bit jinxed from the beginning. I don't know. I just had this feeling. Sometimes I get this feeling. I think it's called anxiety.

A while ago, I was in a happy state. And I also said that things could change in an instant and screw you over. This seems to be that time. Things just start accumulating and before you know it, nothing seems to be going right. I'll just hang around until the next upswing. I'm good at doing that. Most of the time. Or I could go back to my old habit of punching a wall. There may still be that hole from when I punched it last. Guess I'll just have to find another wall.

Word of the Day: BBQed

Fishy business

So here I am, back home from a 3 night, 4 day journey to Metung.

Well, what can I say. A lot happened. I'll try and pick some highlights.

I failed to catch any fish. Over 3 days, I failed to catch one fish. At all. The reasons, I believe, are varied, and all of them are quite plausible.

1. I suck at fishing. We'll start with the least plausible explanation. I can fish, being the hunter-gatherer that I am. However, the other times may have just been sheer, dumb luck, so we can't rule this explanation out.

2. My inner peace was unsettled, and this was picked up on by the fish. The most plausible reason out of all of them, I believe. What happened was, my friend, Orrin, tells me on Monday night that he had received no transfer offers from anywhere. None. From anywhere. After having applied in a range of courses as broad as my shoulders, from Arts/Commerce to hairdressing in Bundoora. And he had a D average. After consoling him for a quarter of an hour, and scratching my head as to why he didn't at least get a transfer into Gardening at Peninsula, he calls me 15 minutes later to tell me that he had actually gotten a transfer to Arts/Commerce at Clayton, which was his first preference. And he had the nerve to complain that I didn't congratulate him, even though I did. But he didn't even deserve it. Apparently he only checked the paper, and not the website.

Can you congratulate me or something, man?

Yeah, congratulations on the monumental stuff-up Orrin.

So for the next couple of nights, no fish.

Just to illustrate the validity of this reasoning, everyone else but me caught at least one fish. And, just to top it off, after Linda texted me last night, I almost caught something. Good luck charm right there.

3. All the fish have moved to Sydney.

Hmm. That's about all there is to mention really. Pictures on Facebook soon hopefully. Oh, and I didn't get to buy any souvenirs, owing to the fact that there are hardly any shops that sell souvenir-y things. Forgive me, friends.

Word of the Day: Metung

There are many things that I, would like to say to you, but I don't know how

I normally don't really give a damn about what people think of me.

But this case is different. It's consuming. It's actually a full-blown anxiety. I should probably ask the person in question sometime in the near future what they think of me. But then, that would require courage, something which I lack when it comes to things like this. There's just too much room for awkwardness.

In a very, very twisted way, I think that her getting mad at me is sort of a good sign. Like, she notices me enough to be properly mad at me, if that makes any sense. Very, very twisted.

Lakes Entrance tomorrow for my near-annual retreat with my family. As always, should be good. Except for the forecasted lack of sun. I was hoping to tan up a bit too. Stupid cloud cover.

Word of the Day: Consumed

Christmas 2009

A very Merry Christmas to you all.

I just realised that this has been a very peculiar Christmas period. This Christmas, I've received the least amount of presents since I can remember. And yet, it's also been one of the best Christmas periods I can remember.

The lead-in has been quite awesome, bar a few pangs of loneliness. Kris Kringle on the 17th, and Chen's party last night were a great way to catch up with friends just before today, and were a near-perfect buildup. And for the first time ever, I think I may be properly infatuated. This feels like a culmination of a year, but I'll save that for a more appropriate time.

Today was wonderful as well. After having a lunch of stir-fried Nissin noodles, the Huang family went on a trip to the Melbourne Aquarium and had afternoon tea in the city, then dinner with grandparents as well.

What has become apparent this year, and sort of maybe signals my somewhat maturing, is that friends and family mean so much more to me than 'getting' anything in particular. In fact, I've found that I've derived more joy from giving things to people, and I think I always have. That's not to say that I'm not grateful for the presents that I get. I love the fact that people care enough about me to get something special for me (guitar, and funny little keyring thing, from parents and sister.) It's amazing when you get something that you want/need/like and didn't ask for. I'm a big fan of presents that don't really do anything, but remind me of the person that gave them to me. Wearable things of this ilk take some beating.

But yes. I think I like seeing the smile I elicit from someone when I give them something they like or appreciate.

Family and good friends make this a special time, though. I believe that gifts, and even the giving of gifts, adds gloss to this time. It's like the icing sugar on the funny ninja star windmill pastry things that my mother makes (incidentally, if you haven't had one, let me know, and I'll hook you up. According to those that have had one, or several, or millions, they're quite good, and I think I agree with them). Presents are not essential, but it does give an otherwise great day a certain zing.

Hope you've had as much fun, and experienced as much joy and happiness as I have today.

Word of the Day: Christmas 2009

Oh, cruel world

So I'm choking half to death on the kitchen floor, and the input that I get from my family is something along the lines of:

"Man up!"
"Why do you have to be so disgusting?"

A little sympathy towards this damaged soul wouldn't go amiss, I think.

Well, there you have it. Now you understand why I turned out the way I am. Family.

Ok, so I choked on a can of Solo. Ok, so it might be funny if it doesn't happen to you. But that feeling, when you're drinking soft drink, and somebody makes you laugh - it's like a form of torture. And all I get from my family is "Walk it off." Cruel, cruel people. And one of these family members caused this laughter as well, which makes it even more abhorrent that sympathy was not forthcoming. Boo.

Word of the Day: Solo