Secrets, lies, and webs of deceit.

Most of that title has little-to-no bearing on this post.

Anyway.

So it's 2 a.m. in the morning, and I got back from the Usher concert not so long ago. More about that in a later post.

Right now, I just had a mini-epiphany. Possibly Usher-inspired.

Contrary to what I said in my last post, I will tell you why I'm a little bit upset. I've just managed to put my finger on why.

Out of all my friends who have organised tables, brought tickets, and are going to the Commerce Ball, not one of them asked me. Not one. Not a single one.

Which is quite upsetting.

Yeah, I know an outsider looking at this (or sometimes not even outsiders) would go, "Hey, why didn't you ask them?"

Why would I ask them when I have no table formulated? Would it not make more sense for the person with the table, or at least the person organising, to ask? I mean, someone has to start asking. And I'm thoroughly sick of being that person.

Worst thing about all this is, I know, or I predict, that people will go to the Law Ball, Arts Ball, or whatever ball later in the year, and still not ask me about it.

Yesterday, I heard my father pondering to his sister on the phone: "I don't know why (so-and-so) dislike me. I don't know what I've done to offend them. In fact, often I go out of my way to help them."

Maybe it runs in the family.

Having said that, I feel a lot sorrier for my father than I do for myself. Because I'm not the most likeable of people, and I can understand why nobody would ask me even though I consider them my friend. But I know for a fact that my father has been nothing but nice to said person, and has done so much for them it's beyond comprehension.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that it could be worse. And anyway, the situation is beyond saving now. I mean, I can't go even if people paid me to go, let alone just asked me. No more tickets, and all that. Final year, so not more Commerce Ball for me next year.

Which, I think, is the thing that makes me truly feel sad. No joke. I actually feel quite a deep sense of regret and sadness (not to mention exclusion) at not being able to go to a real ball (I don't count the ASEAN one) in my four years at uni.

So I guess the only thing I've gotten out of this whole thing is a lesson.

Yes, this ball seems to cause a bit of distress every year. It's because it's a distressing thing. But yeah, whatever. No point forcing my company on people that clearly don't value me as much as I value them.

But life goes on, and all that. I have friends. Not that many, but it's all about the quality. And I truly believe that my friends (I use this term in the strictest sense possible here) are some of the highest-quality people that a man could ask for.

Don't really feel like blogging about Usher right now, so I'll probably do it in a day or two.

Laters.

Word of the Day: Ball