Terry Lau leaving Melbourne!

So I've just come back from Terry Lau's going away party.

He's going away for a pretty substantial period of time. Like, at least a few years.

I meant what I wrote on his card. He's one of those people which I wish I'd gotten to know better. It's a real shame. He's a good kid, and I'll miss him. Have a safe trip Terry.

It's also good to see that, almost one year on from Ambassador camp, we can still get this many of them together in one hit, and get along with each other. It's great. I love that common bond that we had.

Anyway, it wasn't all about Terry. I learnt a lot too. Discussions in bars. They're great.

I think everybody thinks I'm some emo depressed kid who doesn't like talking. There were, upon reflection, a few reasons why I wasn't too talkative (in no particular order):

1. The music was drowning out my voice, and my voice doesn't penetrate through white noise all that well, and I don't like shouting.

2. Too busy listening.

3. I had quite a bit on my mind, and was thinking things through in my head.

4. I didn't really want to directly answer the girl question, so I sort of evaded it (although what I said, the part about reciprocation and mutual attraction, was the truth). Just easier for everyone that way.

I think the answer to that question (the direct answer) is fairly self-evident anyway. I think it's pretty clear for everyone to see, except, from what I can see, the person in question. Either that, or they're deliberately ignoring it. Which is fine. It's a lot better than not talking to me. Like, much, much better.

Amongst the many things I'm scared of, I'm scared of being wrong again. I don't I'll be able to get it wrong many more times before I completely lose it. Or give up. One or the other. It's just, when you try so many times, and you end up screwing up every time, it's really kicks the morale out of you.

I think I've sort of come to the conclusion that I'm just not a good person. I don't think there's really any other explanation. You know, not just good, as in a decent person good, like, just good in other aspects. I think I'm just lacking.

Having said that, I hope I haven't screwed it up. But if I have, now you, and I, both pretty much know why.

Also, on a side note, it's good to know I have good taste, in that everybody agrees on who the hottest girl on Ambassador camp was. Was. As in past tense. Once you find out a person's true colours, that either enhances their beauty or detracts from it. In this case, it would be the latter.

Finally, thanks for the 21st birthday speech Meng. Just replicate it on the big day, eh?

Word of the Day: Terry