I am such a rebel.
On Friday night, I smoked a bit of cigar.
Pretty much tasted like burning tea leaves, with a stronger after-taste. Better than cigarettes, I think, not that I've had them before, but not completely bad tasting. Still, probably would not try it again. Unless it was a $3000 Cuban cigar given to me by one of my lawyer friends in the future.
Oh, by the way, the one's Botros and Simon were smoking were $12 for five from 7-11. Real high-class stuff there.
Meng was getting all into it though. I wouldn't be surprised if he went and got some for himself afterwards.
I should rewind a bit. Just so you know where the hell all this happened.
So it was Orrin's birthday party on Friday night. Me, being the astute and meticulous planner that I am, devised a masterplan. For my transportation to his place, that is.
The plan was that Orrin would arrive at Monash at 11, come to my Accounting lecture with me, perhaps meet some people, then leave the joint at 12 to go to Chaddy and buy some stuff and gossip about...things.
The plan screwed up at the first step. To cut a very, very long and expensive story short, Orrin got there at about quarter past 11, I was late to my lecture, we ended up meeting 0 people. The only part that went right was the going to Chaddy at 12 bit. Oh, and laughing at the New Zeland licturer the whole time.
So there we were at Chaddy. We had lunch, went to Koko Black to buy some ridiculously priced drinks (like, really exorbitant pricing), then went to Coles to buy ginger beer "which nobody would drink". Everyone drank ginger beer that night.
After that, we got back in the car. For some reason, Orrin decided to turn on his windscreen wipers. Maybe where he comes from you turn them on when it's sunny outside. Who knows. In between all of this, we talk about everything from weather to girls to why Kanye is such a tool.
So we kip on down to Southland to find some of the hard stuff. After walking back and forth between K Liquor and Liquorland about a million times, we ended deciding to go back to K Liquor anyway, which is what I suggested in the first place. This was where, according to Orrin, the most exciting part of the day happened.
See, there was this alright-looking girl at the counter. Ok, so she was better than alright. And she had a nice smile. And presumably you know how I have a thing for girls with nice smiles.
ANYWAY. So Orrin decided that we needed many cases of beer. He's like "here, slave, carry these while I select some more," so I go "Screw you, I'll put some on the counter first." This was the platform for me to make my first witty remark of the session.
I put one case on the counter, and Countergirl goes "Is that all for today?" or something along those lines. And I go, "Nah, there's still much more to come." Which, for some inexplicable reason, she found amusing.
So I go back, and help the New Zealander with his alcohol. So we ended up with a total of 24 beers. And then Countergirl goes "Is that all for today?" And here's the "punchline." Me, being hilarious and geniusticious in my humour, says (this deserves a whole line to itself):
"Yeah, I think that'll be enough. 12 for me, and 12 for this guy."
Ok, so it was fairly funny at the time. I wouldn't say it was the funniest thing I've ever said. Not by a long shot, if you know anything about me at all. She found it immensely funny. Actually, I don't very clearly remember what happened, but Orrin informs me that she found it immensely funny. And Orrin found it funny.
So apparently (I don't actually know why I have no recollection of this event) she started chatting me up. According to Orrin. Who is always reliable. So blah, blah, blah, have a great night guys. We get in the car, and Mr. Hindsight says, "Man, you should've asked her to MY party." Why the hell would I ask someone to YOUR party man? Whatever Orrin tells you I said after that is pure conjecture and fabrication, and has no truth in it whatsoever. I did not complain about missed opportunities in the slightest.
So we got to his house, blah blah blah. Key points were me setting up music, me showing Orrin how to fill up his tank (even though I've never driven with my Ps on - go figure), me fetching his girlfriend from the train station, and me doing stuff.
Meng arrived, we talked for about 30 seconds. Other people came, we lit a bonfire, got to know other people. More people arrived, night fell, Botros gave me a cigar to try, Meng puffed at it all night, we played Mafia, everybody except me and Meng sucked, Priscilla and Henrick came later, they danced, I brooded about things, played poker, lost to Botros, played Wii, slept for four hours, woke up, played Wii again. All in all, had a good time, and I have never seen a person blow out candles in such a creative way. The man clapped them out. Well done, you tool. Happy 19th.
I think it's time for me to talk about Westgate (ha, geddit? Kanye West? West-gate? Westgate Bridge? Forget it. I think I'll just stick to Kanye West Interruption.)
I found it hilarious. I mean, sure, he was a bit of a tool, and completely unreasonable for doing what he did, but still. It was funny. To be honest, Taylor Swift annoys the hell out of me. She didn't deserve to get served like that, but she could've at least put up a better show of defending herself.
"Yo Meng, I'm really happy for you, imma letchoo finish, but Andrew has one of the best jokes of all time. Of all time!"
Sorry, just couldn't resist slipping a reference there. No hard feelings Meng.
Word of the Day: Cigar
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