Suprise Song Sunday: Superstar - Usher

I'm your number one fan,

Give me your autograph,

Sign it right here on my heart.

Some vintage-ish, cheesy, sweet Usher to brighten up your Sunday. Assuming that your Sunday does, in fact, need brightening up. Or that it is possible to brighten up your Sunday at all.  

So, how about that Chelsea, eh? Plucky little Chelsea, with their fifty million pound substitute striker. Plucky little Chelsea, with their squad costing a bazillion pounds over seven years. Plucky little Chelsea, winning the Champions League. 

Seriously, how? How the hell did they win that thing? I mean, we beat these guys 5-3 earlier in the season for crying out loud. And we suck.

The silver lining is, of course, that Spurs lose their Champions League berth. But really, that's clutching at straws/trying really hard to find the silver lining/being a hardline optimist. I would much rather have seen Chelsea lose than Spurs not get their Champions League spot. In case you haven't been told, this makes them the first London club to win the Champions League. 

Oh. My. God. 

Also, there's so much wrong with their team and their captain. Just...everything about them. 

*Vomits*

It has to be said though, that Bayern Munich are absolute bottlers. Of the highest order. They were at home. They were, at least on paper, the superior side. They took 82 minutes to score against a, at the best of times, very mediocre Chelsea side, which, on the day, had an extremely patched-up defence. 

And then went on to concede the equaliser a couple of minutes later. 

And then miss a penalty in extra time. 

And then screw up the shootout. 

Football, I'm getting quite fed up with you and your crazy ways. 

But I'll be back for the Euros. 

Word of the Day: Bottler  

Friday night football talk.

Since when has football talk been exclusively on Friday night?

Never. But since I'm doing it now, it's gonna be on a Friday night.

Anyway.

We got third!

Which, I know, is not a trophy, but considering all our trials and tribulations this season - how badly we started, how we lost a bazillion players during the transfer window, how we went through roughly half the season with 0 fullbacks, how we have one (very, very good) striker - finishing behind only Man U (the greatest team that ever was, and ever will be, ever, or something) and Man City (they have unlimited money) is an amazing achievement. Finishing above Spurs is also pretty good too. Well done the Arsenal.

Now let's get van Persie up on this new contract and stuff.

A word on the last day of the season in general.

It was absolutely nuts. As if anxiously watching us hold on to third place, heart almost literally in my mouth, wasn't bad enough, there was the added bonus of seeing QPR 2-1 up against City upon the conclusion of our game.

Turn around, the commentators are saying that CIty had won the game 3-2.

Just like that, in pretty much two minutes of extra time, they had won the Premier League. Unbelievable.

And, I guess, that's why Aguero gets paid a trillion quid a week.

The whole day was just an amazing advertisement for football.

Champions League final to look forward to this weekend. Here's hoping that Bayern destroy Chelsea. Plucky little Chelsea, with their 50 million quid benched striker. Man, I hate them.

Word of the Day: Arsenal

We actually won!

And this time, the football failed to disappoint.

It's not very often that we get completely outplayed and still manage a win. Unlike Man United, we oftentimes seem to lack that particular capability.

But this was one of those magnificent times. Up against the ropes for the entire first half, and most of the second, two magical, sublime van Persie goals once again won the game.

And my, how important this win could be.

Chelsea managed to lose to West Brom, which means they're now three points behind in fifth. Spurs are only four points ahead of us now with a game in hand, and play Man United tonight.

Things are looking a little bit better now.

Hopefully Arteta's injury isn't too serious. Looked bad, with the oxygen mask and all.

Let's hope that this win heralds a good week coming up.

Word of the Day: Oftentimes

Gunner lose again

Excuses are really starting to run out for Arsenal now.

They have almost all of their first-team players back and playing now. And yet, they still manage to get completely ripped apart by Manchester United.

Problem one, I believe, is a lack of heart. Most deficiencies in football can be made up for by sheer power of will and determination.

Problem two, the defence. I have no idea what's wrong with it. Sure, Clichy isn't 100%, but United just seem to defend so much better. I think it's because with them, it's a team effort. With Arsenal, if you're lucky, you get the centre backs defending, and not many other people besides. What's saddening is that while Arsenal are lacking in defence, they were also outclassed in attack. The manager has often defended Arsenal's defensive lapses, saying it's a result of the style of play. Attack, attack, attack. Then why is it always in big matches that Arsenal not only struggle at the back, but are found wanting up the front?

So they're missing van Persie. Surely Arshavin is good enough to fill in for that? But that guy is so inconsistent it's almost funny.

The best thing in this team is Fabregas. Arsenal are so lucky to have him. He's like a university graduate in a team of primary school kids. I'm afraid that he might leave at the end of the season though. Look at it logically. He could go to any team that he wanted. Anywhere in the world. It's not about money. I would be tempted if I were him for two reasons besides money. Reason number 1: the players at other teams are so much better to work with. Would you rather play in teams with Messi, Xavi, Ronaldo, Kaka, Benzema, or would you rather be mixing it with players like Diaby and Bendtner? Reason 2: the Gunners simply don't look like winning anything in the foreseeable future. It's sad. All they really need is a top-class striker, a decent holding mid, and possibly, but not necessarily, a centre back. That's all it would take for them to be awesome, really. That, and a fighting spirit.

I doubt they can get anything at all against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge, of all places. Let's hope they surprise.

Word of the Day: Despondant

Fab-regas

Fabregas. What a player.

Arsenal. What a team.

Systematically rip Everton apart.

What a start to the Premier League season. The only disappointment - well, two really - was the fact that Chelsea didn't at least get held to a draw, and the fact that I captained Lampard instead of Fabregas in the my Fantasy team. How was I to know that Hull would be better than Chelsea?

But yeah. Arsenal. Woo. Unbelievable football. Can't wait til they destroy Celtic.

Word of the Day: Arsenal