New Year's Eve 2009

It's been a great, great year. Have not had such a good one for a long, long time.

Great, as in not all fun and games. There have been soaring highs and plunging lows. Hope and despair, sometimes very close to each other, time-wise. But great, as in the highs have been quite spectacular.

I learnt one thing this year: life never stops being unpredictable. Never ever. I think the same time last year, I was saying that I'd found a modicum of certainty and stability in life, and that I was quite settled. I hate being made to eat my own words, but I think I'll have to this time.

It has been crazy. So much has gone on I don't know where to begin. So many new friends made, a few bust-ups here and there, so many seemingly mundane moments that make my life so much better. Massive moments this year as well, happy and sad.

This year has seemed so long. Semester 1 seems like a separate year altogether. It just feels like another age, and I feel like such a different person.

The knee injury, which is still niggling at me, kind of symbolises this gap.

Semester 1 was basically me from last year, carrying over to this year. Social misfit, had not really found my place in life, an alright person, had not really fallen in love or been infatuated, just generally cruising.

Then, after the break, and the Ambassador Camp, I grew up a bit.

I became infatuated. It was cruel though, the way she led me on, and I thought I had a chance. Maybe she doesn't see it that way. Just know that I'm so over that now, so much so that I feel something close to loathing every time I see her. She has come to symbolise how manipulative, deceptive, and yet alluring some girls can be. I've moved onto pastures new, and hopefully this time I won't be sliced and diced. I think that was a fairly low point of the year. Recovering very strongly from this by the end of the year was awesome. My friends and family also make this year great. Props to y'all.

I believe I have gotten better as a person since the middle of the year. At least, I hope so. I believe that I have developed higher EQ (emotional quotient, knowing how you emotions affect others, and learning to control them. Thanks Management. Just about the only useful thing I learnt from that subject), and how to read people a bit more, find out what makes them tick. I've also become more understanding I think. When someone does something that peeves or hurts me, I try to work out, to the best of my ability, a plausible reason for their actions. It makes me less angry/sad. I have no idea what all of the above has to do with the camp, but I'm sure it's somehow related.

I also formed a sort of core group of friends. Met some new ones that I've instantly grown fond of, and hopefully they of me, and reaffirmed some old friendships. Looking through my list of speed-dial numbers is generally a good indicator of whether you're in this circle or not. But you won't get to, because you'll never get anywhere near my phone, and chances are you probably won't be able to operate the speed dial anyway. Not that I mind you looking. You just might be disappointed, that's all. It's for your own good, really, that I don't go flashing it around. I love you all, friends. For someone with as big a family life as me, I place a lot of importance in friends.

I've also come to terms with the fact that people are very diverse. Life experience. Nothing surprises me anymore. You get all sorts of people, that do all sorts of things, and they have no issue with it at all. As part of my newly-honed EQ, I've made a massively increased effort to come to terms with what seems, at least to me, the idiosyncrasies of individuals. Put less eloquently, I've become more jerk-tolerant.

Results, as always, have been a massively mixed bag. But I've really topped myself this year. I've seriously gotten all the grades that one can possibly get, all in one year. I don't that's really something to be proud of.

Music this year has been fairly meh, and has been for quite a few years now. I tuned in to Take 40 the other week, just to see what everyone was listening to nowadays, and heard a very obvious, but astute comment, followed up by a very 'I'm reading a script' statement, something along the lines of:

Pop music seems to be moving in the direction of more electropop. Which I think is a great thing.

Maybe, maybe not. Not a very big fan of electropop. Not at all, bar Lady Gaga sort of. I don't really discriminate based on genre. I like good music. But most of electropop just doesn't really fall under that category.

Very symbolic of this stagnation of good music is the death of the two greatest music acts that ever existed, the like of which the world will never see again.

Michael Jackson. His music resounds and resonates through the ages. Timeless. Catchy. Beautiful. Creative. Innovative. And what a performer. None of this lip synching stuff. Live singing, live dancing, amazing choreography, amazing moves. I've always been in awe of musicians that write good music, and he falls into that category with ease.

Oasis. Unabashed optimism. Having fun for the sake of it. The melodies, the lyrics, the voice of Liam, the guitar. Yeah, people will say "They only had Wonderwall," but they obviously haven't heard the rest of their songs. Everybody that I've spoken to that have listened to their other songs know that they're something special. Noel Gallagher, is, I think, one of the best songwriters. It's just astonishing how he can create such beautiful melodies with such evocative guitar and lyrics, and mesh them into one cohesive whole.

Before listening to Oasis, I used to be all into 50 Cent and Ja Rule and the like. Sigh. So immature. I think even then that I was searching for something different to the mainstream Top 40, because those songs mostly annoy me. Listening to Oasis made me appreciate good music, instead of music that's just 'different'. And good music, scarily enough, is mostly old. Elton John, Coldplay, 2Pac, Michael Jackson, Maroon 5, Lily Allen, Jay-Z, Usher. These all came about because I was searching for something that was as good as, or almost at the level of, Oasis.

Very rarely do I wish I was born in a different era. When I listen to these two, I wish I were born about five or six years earlier at least, just to be able to experience the euphoria of these musicians releasing their albums.

As if to prove that this year was a bad one for music, Usher delayed the planned December release of his latest album to March next year.

Movie of the year, in the absence of any real gems, was definitely Avatar for sheer scope, imagination and plot...ness. I love movies where they create completely new worlds. And that is why Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince comes a close second this year. I actually found it a very enjoyable movie for once. There was a vast improvement in acting and general cinematography.

My love for films, and books that create a completely new world, awesome characters, a plausible plotline and awesome cinematography (for films anyway) sees The Lord of the Rings trilogy crowned movie of the decade, especially the third one. Such an inspirational standard-setter that inspired so many films. Troy, Avatar, and my mind fails me right now, but there are so, so many epic films that are almost directly copied from The Lord of the Rings.

News item of the year: Michael Jackson's death. Without a doubt. Swine flu, move over. Michael Jackson killed that hype at its peak. Dominated the news for a month. Shows you the power of music, and its best exponents.

This little nugget from Chris Martin aka Coldplay man pretty much sums up the whole year for me:

It's weird that whatever else is on your mind, whether it's the downfall of global economics or terrible environmental troubles, the thing that always gets you most is when you fancy someone

The decade. To tell you the truth, I don't remember much of it. And I don't really believe it has been all that defining in the grand scheme of things. No big developments really. Yeah, we got the iPhone. Before that, we had mobile phones already. Yeah, we got iPods. We had Walkmans way before that. GFC? Not as bad as first thought. Fairly sure the Great Depression of last century was much more intense. No real ground-breaking, major developments, just off the top of my head. Most of these 'new developments' are really just extensions and improvements of old ideas. Technologically, I believe that Facebook has massively changed the Internet. Narcissism has grown as a result, but social interaction has also grown at an unprecedented way. We now interact with people in ways that we never would have imagined ten years ago.

In terms of world events, September 11 (and the events stemming from this) and the 2004 tsunami really shook me. Also, the Black Saturday fires of last year were really sad. I really feel for the people affected by all the disasters of this decade, and beyond.

Since nobody ever keeps New Year's Resolutions anyway, I'm going to make an awesomely over-the-top one: I'm going to become the Ultimate Man. I'm going to become a tank. An academic ace. Earn lots of money. Let the people that I love know that I love them. Be a family man. Take care of them. Take care of others that I care about. Become a better person in general. Become more agreeable. And all that jazz. You get the general idea. Harder, better, faster, stronger.

It's been a great year, and a great most-of-the-decade (I don't really remember most of it). See you in 2010, and the next decade.

Word of the Day: 2009

Emotaphor

Random thought while in the gym today. No double meaning, no sinister intent. Just a thought.

Emotional pain is a very close metaphor to physical pain.

See, what I was thinking today, while my arm was sort of hurting, was that with the technology we have today, we could make human bodies immune to pain.

But what good would that do? That would mean that a crazy psycho mutant scorpion thing was gnawing on our foot, and we wouldn't be able to feel it.

Physical pain is trying to warn us from doing something. Like sticking out hand into a festering pit of poisonous reptiles for instance, or attacking a nest of African bees.

Sometimes, however, we ignore this pain, or grit our teeth and get over it, because the end result outweighs the momentary pain. Like getting a tooth pulled out, or my dad fighting through the pain in his arm to work 10+ hours per day.

It's the same with emotional pain. Sort of. Like, you feel it, and you know that you should try and avoid the situation that caused it in the first place. Except with emotional pain, there are even less rational situations where you would be inclined to go back and take the pain again. And yet, somehow, it so often happens that we will take emotional pain again and again, whereas with physical pain, we eventually concede defeat. Like rejection, or being ignored. No matter how many times it hurts, most people keep plugging away at it.

Interesting. I don't know why that is, probably because I haven't studied the almighty mind-opening discipline of psychology, or something of that ilk. Seems like a worthwhile subject to take. But only if they talk about random things like this.

Word of the Day: Sighcology

Me. The City.

Ok, so it doesn't look like I'll be going out to the city at all for New Year's Eve. People either have better people to hang out with, or have made their own thing to do, or just generally can't be stuffed going out to the city. Which is understandable. I mean, it is me. And the city. It's like, two negatives in one. Which is not good. At all. If I were given the choice, I wouldn't want to spend the night with me. Especially in the city. On New Year's Eve.

My main motivation for going out to the city was originally to get Linda to come along. Failing that, spending time with friends would've been nice. But seeing as she's spending the night with her family, and I have approximately 0 friends who want to come out to the city, with me, I guess I'll do the same, and see if I can find something to do with my homies during the day. With me. Possibly in the city.

Look for my Batlight thing...you know, that light that Batman shines on the clouds to get everybody's attention...ok, forget it. It's not important anyway. Just look out for it. It might be in the shape of me. And it may or may not be in the city.

Word of the Day: City

Haiku's are easy, but sometimes they don't make sense, refrigerator.

Quite frankly, I feel like rubbish right now.

Yesterday I developed an annoying sore throat/cough, impeding my ability to converse with people. Granted, not many people really want to hear what I have to say anyway, but it's still annoying. It also makes it seem like I'm always angry, because I don't want to talk. Which is totally not true. Most of the time.

Anyway, yesterday my dad asked me to trim the hedges. Then he found out my throat felt like it was on fire. Don't know how. He may have some psychic ability or something. Or maybe it was the fact that my reply of "Ok" sounded more like a grainy piece of sand paper being drawn across a very rough patch of tarmac. Who knows.

So then he was all like "You really shouldn't, you know, with a sore throat and all. Leave them for me." But what kind of self-respecting son would leave these menial tasks to his already hard-working father?

So I manned up and did it anyway. I don't think it really did more damage to the throat. Or maybe it just feels like it didn't do that much damage in comparison to the burning sensation that I now feel in my arm.

No, I didn't cut myself with the hedge trimmer. My old enemy, sunburn, came back to get me. It didn't help that I'd been reading with my left arm in the sun for the entire morning to begin with either. I think the extended hedge trimming pushed it over the edge.

This morning I developed a sniffle, which I think is just allergy, as I haven't gotten a headache or similar. At least not yet.

So despite the slight ache in my arms from the hedge-cutting frivolities of yesterday afternoon, I decided to gym it up a bit.

Now my arms hurt even more. And my left arm still feels like it's on fire. And I still have a sore throat and a runny nose and a cough. Oh, and my knee injury is actually getting worse. It's freaking creaking now.

To cap it all off, people, or a person, is deliberately ignoring me, or has a more woeful memory than I do.

And this is why I took this thing off Facebook. I don't want people to see me pitying myself. I don't even want to see it. I just don't want to keep it bottled up again, or I might explode from frustration.

I leave you with a Haiku of my own composition.

When you are with me,
You're different to when you're not,
I'm very confused.

Word of the Day: Hurting

It seemed like a good idea at the time

Oh, how I laughed when I saw a guy with a cast on his wrist walking around with a t-shirt saying "It seemed like a good idea at the time." Presumably he had broken his wrist, or something similar, or maybe he's just wearing it to go with the t-shirt. More likely though that he is wearing the t-shirt to make light of his injury. Or perhaps he's clueless, and doesn't realise how ironic, and funny, his t-shirt is.

On a side note, this saying is like, the story of my life. Before I do something that turns out to be stupid, I reason it out in my mind, and it seems to make logical sense before I do it. I like it when things make logical sense. Then, afterwards, I realise how stupid it was, and wonder how I ever thought that it was a good idea in the first place. Usually, in hindsight, I can't find one reason why it would've turned out good.

But I digress. Where I saw this t-shirt is the key to this post.

See, I was Boxing Day shopping at Chadstone.

Yes, I was at Chadstone again. That was, I think, the third time in two weeks. I'm becoming a bit of an addict.

It's funny, because:
a) I vowed never to go Boxing Day shopping, because of it's sheer pointlessness and crazy number of people, and
b) I ended up buying something that I'm fairly sure cost that much normally anyway.

I bought a tank top from Mossimo. So worth driving 30 minutes and swimming through a sea of people. The queues outside some stores were just ridiculous. There was like a dragon of people outside adidas. I have a general phobia of crowds in places where there shouldn't be crowds, like shopping centres. I think there were already not that many people during the time that we went (around 7:30 p.m.) Can't imagine what it would be like earlier.

Sarah got an awesome Calvin Klein handbag for 40% off, which was quite swell. I found it, too. Go me. My mother also bought a Guess handbag, for half price, which I also found. Go me x 2.

But yeah. As I said, not much to be gained. In fact, one could argue, there's a lot to be lost. Such as money.

Not a bad outing though. Quite interesting, especially observing how many more people turn up on Boxing Day as compared to pre-Christmas. Weird. So many more people today. Might go next year with someone closer to my age.

Word of the Day: Crowds

Christmas 2009

A very Merry Christmas to you all.

I just realised that this has been a very peculiar Christmas period. This Christmas, I've received the least amount of presents since I can remember. And yet, it's also been one of the best Christmas periods I can remember.

The lead-in has been quite awesome, bar a few pangs of loneliness. Kris Kringle on the 17th, and Chen's party last night were a great way to catch up with friends just before today, and were a near-perfect buildup. And for the first time ever, I think I may be properly infatuated. This feels like a culmination of a year, but I'll save that for a more appropriate time.

Today was wonderful as well. After having a lunch of stir-fried Nissin noodles, the Huang family went on a trip to the Melbourne Aquarium and had afternoon tea in the city, then dinner with grandparents as well.

What has become apparent this year, and sort of maybe signals my somewhat maturing, is that friends and family mean so much more to me than 'getting' anything in particular. In fact, I've found that I've derived more joy from giving things to people, and I think I always have. That's not to say that I'm not grateful for the presents that I get. I love the fact that people care enough about me to get something special for me (guitar, and funny little keyring thing, from parents and sister.) It's amazing when you get something that you want/need/like and didn't ask for. I'm a big fan of presents that don't really do anything, but remind me of the person that gave them to me. Wearable things of this ilk take some beating.

But yes. I think I like seeing the smile I elicit from someone when I give them something they like or appreciate.

Family and good friends make this a special time, though. I believe that gifts, and even the giving of gifts, adds gloss to this time. It's like the icing sugar on the funny ninja star windmill pastry things that my mother makes (incidentally, if you haven't had one, let me know, and I'll hook you up. According to those that have had one, or several, or millions, they're quite good, and I think I agree with them). Presents are not essential, but it does give an otherwise great day a certain zing.

Hope you've had as much fun, and experienced as much joy and happiness as I have today.

Word of the Day: Christmas 2009

Chad's Stone

Retail therapy is so detrimental in so many ways, yet it provides so much lift for a short amount of time.

I'm serious. It can make you forget almost all your problems.

It's not like I went of a psycho, compulsive, uncontrolled, extremely money-draining splurge on all things branded. I just bought an on-sale pair of jeans from Mossimo. I don't even remember the last time I bought something for myself. I'm fairly sure that most of my money is spent on other people.

It's not something I mind. It's weird. Like, I don't mind spending a lot of money on somebody if they mean something to me, but I'm very loathe to spend money on myself. I'm fine with buying expensive jewelery for others. I like seeing the smile on their face, amongst other things. But myself, I usually wait for the sales, or shop around a bit.

I'm also quite a snob. I don't like buying just anything. It has to be good. That, mixed with an almost unqualified refusal to pay for overpriced goods, is generally not a good mix.

But yes. I bought a pair of jeans. And now I am quite happy. Hopefully this will carry me until Chen's shindig, which will carry me til past Christmas. Goodo.

Word of the Day: Retail

When You're Dreaming With a Broken Heart

Days like this make me wish that I had some to spend them with.

What a glorious day it looks like it promises. A cloud or two in the sky, doesn't look like it's going to get too hot. And it's mid-December. Such a shame.

I've been let down a bit by a few girls. They lead you on, then...BAM! they cut you off. Not really heartbroken, just heavily disappointed.

I try to be pessimistic about these things. I tell myself that I'm ready to be disappointed again, and that it's happened before. Albeit not when I'm getting such a strong vibe. But regardless, I still try to tell myself that I'm reader to be cast adrift again.

But I think at heart I'm an optimist. I always believe that it will work out, and that the other person feels the same way, and all that jazz.

I really hope history isn't repeating itself, even though I try to tell myself that, based on past events, the chances of it repeating are quite high. But you know, sometimes past history isn't a good indicator of what can happen in the future. Just look at the stockmarket. Just like stockbrokers, I do sometimes read the signs wrong. In fact, I believe that I read the signs wrong most of the time. But unlike on the stock market, maybe being right 5 per cent of the time in these things is enough.

Word of the Day: Heartbroken

Thanks

And as if just to reinforce the point, Arsenal won against Hull this morning, capping off what turned out to be quite a swell week for me.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, you may recall that I predicted that good week would follow after Arsenal beat Liverpool on the weekend. Read for more information.

By swell, I mean mostly good.

Annual Kris Kringle with A Rotational Roster of People on Thursday night went quite well, except for the timing issues. I have no idea why, on that day, people had to turn up late, leave early, and just generally not fit in with the plan. Must have been a bad day to pick. But apart from that, it all clicked together fairly well. Most things that I plan generally do, I think, except when people mess them up for me.

Anyway, I got a shirt to add to my growing collection (thanks Davy), and Yvonne seemed pleased with what I gave her. I hope. Unless I'm reading the signs wrong again, as I am wont to do. I think everyone else liked the 'things' that I made them, useless and non-functional though they may be, and Linda didn't kill me for defying her direct order not to make her anything, so I guess that worked out alright. All I know is that I've been completely turned off folding stars, at least for a while, and Sicilian salmon with potatoes at Airstream is also getting a bit old. Alas, must find new thrills.

Imesha and Linda bailed halfway through our dinner, so we moseyed on down to the cinema to watch Avatar.

Personally, I didn't like the 3Dness. Apart from the fact that you had to pay an extra dollar to watch 3D (unless you're Yvonne and have five pairs of spare 3D goggles at home), I thought that it actually made most of the movie look worse. I wasn't really feeling the 3D, and when I did, it just looked like one of those dodgy lenticular things you get out of chip packets. It looked less realistic than it would have on a normal screen. Everything just sort of looked stuck on. But it was a good movie. Not that Davy would know. I found out just then that he fell asleep during the film. He's making a habit of this. First New Moon with his girl, then Avatar.

On Friday, nothing much happened, except for Victor coming over and fiddling with my computers, and FIFA 10. Thanks Victor.

Saturday, would've liked to have gone to Kylie's, but no transport/didn't want to trouble other people in giving me a lift/ditched by Victor. Sorry Kylie.

Just then was the NQT Christmas dinner. It was cool. Found out that Catherine is a pretty cool person, and that I'm a pretty terrible person to sit next to at dinner, as I pretty much go quiet. Also, 'Same Girl' is a universally recognised benchmark of an awesome song.

Here's to having more fun-laden and awesome times ahead. It's a shame really, because I have all this free time, and no-one to spend it with. Guess I'll just practice my newly-acquired guitar (thanks for the Christmas present parents) and my grandpa clarinet. Perhaps working out more. But definitely no more folding of stars.

Word of the Day: Thanks

Possible return to Macau

I just remembered something, very randomly.

See, I made a wish at a temple in Macau. And according to Chinese tradition, if my wish comes true, I have to return there and thank the temple.

Now, I'm not particularly superstitious, but, like my father, I do believe that it is best not to go out of your way to tempt fate.

Problem is though, I sort of remember what I wished for, but not whether or not I put a time frame on it. Put simply, I'm fairly sure that I wished for my wish to come true in two years, if I remember correctly. But I'm not sure if I should still go back if it happens after that, because I think it was bound to happen eventually anyway. I should ask about it.

But this is all a null point. The thing that I wished for hasn't happened anyway. I still have no idea why it sprung up in my mind.

Word of the Day: Macau (again?)

I'm so sick of this.

It's always me calling people.

I can't even remember the last time somebody organised something with me.

It's always me organising something for people, with me included.

It's not so much that I find organising things difficult. In fact, I find it supremely easy.

Which is why I find it both telling and very, very sad that I very rarely get invited to things.

Yeah, sure. Work. Of course. But surely you don't work 10 hours a day, every day of the week?

It's my own fault I guess. Obviously people don't like me enough for me to cross their minds once in a while. Clearly I don't mean as much to them as they mean to me.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm almost crying while writing this. It hurts.

I guess that's why I appreciate it so much when someone shows that they actually care. Just saying hi. Or checking on how I'm doing. Something. I don't know. Anything.

I hate how I'm not even the most social person, but I feel terrible after about a week of not seeing a friend.

It's sad. I think I've known this for a while, but I've just become man enough to acknowledge it. I don't think I really have many, if any, close friends. Again, my fault. I don't let anybody get close to me. I don't know why. I hope one day I do find someone that I can open me up, keep me from bottling up all these things.

In summary, I need a hug.

Worry in a hurry

Sometimes I think I worry too much about things that ought not to be worried about that much, or worried about at all.

For instance, I get worried when I call/text/e-mail/Facebook/snail mail/fax someone, and they don't reply. There are a few reasons for worrying:

1. I've somehow offended said person, or people, and they do not wish to communicate with me. Sometimes, I worry about this even though I know, or believe, that there is no possible way I could've offended said person or people.

2. Something has happened to said person/people, and they are incapacitated and unable to reply to my message.

3. The message did not go through at all, and it was all in vain.

Another thing that I am prone to worry about is whether people care about me, or whether I mean anything to people. It's weird, but true.

Worry also leads to nervousness. It's so stupid. I get nervous in the weirdest situations. Like, I get nervous around girls that I like, but not girls that I don't like. As in, the two different types of like. If you know what I mean. I get nervous thinking about getting nervous.

As I said. Stupid things to worry about. But sometimes, they seem to warrant being worried about.

Word of the Day: Worry

Soul sisters

So, like, yesterday my boredom-o-meter peaked just before work. So I read a bit of Sarah's (my older younger sister) school magazine, 'Ethos'.

I read this whinge and whine article about how males never return calls and texts. I find this generalised accusation completely false. For one, I return 99% of my messages and missed calls within five minutes, which is better than the late Connex's delivery of trains. Secondly, most guys that I know, bar two notable examples, follow this statistic. In fact, I would contend that, if we must make generalisations, it's more of a female thing to do. Not returning messages within the hour, etc, I mean.

Not that I took the article seriously or anything. I just don't understand where they got the idea from in the first place.

And in other news, I believe Michelle (my younger, younger sister) has just helped our family break a record. It better be a record.

That's right. All three of us have now been School Captain at the same primary school. Three siblings, all school captains. I think you'd be hard pressed to find three people with the same last name that were school captains. And that, my friends, is a hat trick.

Word of the Day: Sisters

Check dem colourz

I seem to get my best ideas just before I sleep, and I end up furiously writing them down on a sticky note before I forget.

Take, for example, the following.

Since I've been abandoned by many of my friends, and my boredom-o-metre is creeping up in exponential increments, I decided, last night, just before I slept, to turn to one of the passions in my life which I have neglected recently. Photography.

I love photography. See, apparently I have an eye for framing things. And I can't really draw anything that goes beyond the complexity level of basic geometric shapes and random patterns. And my painting skills can be best described as shambolic.

Photography is awesome. You can either make a picture literal, take it how you see it, or you can manipulate it to look different.

I loved black and white photography in Year 9. That was one of the best subjects I ever took.

Anyway. The present. I am going to start an album on Facebook called 'Check dem colourz.' Creative, eh?

In this album shall be - get ready for it - colourful things. Just a riot of colours, from everyday and not-so-everyday situations. We'll see where it takes me.

Word of the Day: Photography

I wish people were like books

I might have mentioned this before, but I hate how sometimes I think something's really important, or it is to me anyway, but other people don't seem to care about it as much, if at all. I also hate how a lot of times I'm hurt by the actions and behaviour of people, but they apparently don't seem to notice, or care.

I'm finding it really hard to read people. Mixed signals and all that. You know, sometimes they act one way, then they act another way. The first time you think they mean this, then the next time you think they mean the exact opposite. If that's very confusing, I guess it's fitting, because I'm very confused at the moment.

And this is why this blog is now off Facebook. Although I'm in two minds about it. Sometimes I write uplifting, and apparently funny (so I've been told by other people) posts, and they're happy, and I want to share my happiness with the world. But times like this, when it's all mopey and introspective, I want to kind of keep it to the select few people that care enough to be visiting this blog. So for the foreseeable future, it's going to be right here.

Here's to a less clouded future.

Word of the Day: Confused

Lie down here and be my girl

Yes, I'm currently listening to a song on the radio called 'Lie down here and be my girl.'

Why, you may ask.

That is a good question. And I would answer you, except I've been sworn to secrecy. So I can't tell you. Sorry. But that's life.

Come to think of it, I have no idea why I've been sworn to secrecy. But that's life too. One can't understand everything.

Like, for example, why the hell jury duty has been cancelled.

They told me that they postponed it yesterday, then today they tell me it's cancelled altogether. Great organisational skills, whoever's in charge of these things.

Word of the Day: Radio

Emo rant #5,098,412.33

Sometimes I get the feeling I'm not very important in peoples' lives.

It's not a cry for sympathy, it's just a fact.

See, I contemplated disappearing for about a month a while back. I don't think many people would notice that I'm gone. Or even if they did, it wouldn't be much more than a "Oh. Haven't seen Andrew around in a while."

Okay, maybe during uni, people would notice more. But during holidays, nah. Doubt it very much. Except my family, perhaps.

It's just an observation. Maybe it's the way I am. You know, I don't really insert myself into the minds of people. Very forgettable, in other words. I hope people prove me wrong.

On a less emo note, this week should be good. Arsenal beat Liverpool. It's usually a good week in prospect when Arsenal beat a difficult team, and Liverpool, at a time like this, should result in a spectacular week. Optimism/superstition, please don't let me down.

Word of the Day: Missed

Blub

Blub. What an interesting sound to make.

I'll do it again.

Blub.

So, as you can probably tell, I'm fairly bored. I just wrote a letter to the Herald Sun, detailing why I think the AFL should just be a little bit flexible and give the biggest sporting event on Earth some space to weave it's magic.

I've also been making things for people, but people aren't co-operating with me, which makes it hard. It shall be done though.

I have also obtained a bag, so I don't need one for Christmas anymore. Now I'm really stuck. Maybe I'll just be a good chap and not ask for anything.

Oh, and I have jury duty tomorrow. I thought it'd be fun, but now it just seems like an inconvenience. Oh well. Hopefully it won't be as boring as sitting around at home, getting all arty and writing angry letters to dodgy newspapers.

Word of the Day: Jury

I'm so fly, I get jetlag

A lyric from a forthcoming Usher song. Apparently it means "I'm really cool." But "I'm so fly" is so much more eloquent and beautiful in it's pristine awesomeness.

So yeah, I haven't been disowned by my mother over my results. She took it quite well actually. She was like, well, you didn't fail, so it's not all bad. But you probably should work out a way to do better next sem, because, you know, accounting is kind of important.

I think I've found a method. The method, passed down the generations, father-to-son and all that jazz, is called prioritising i.e. not pouring my soul into International Studies and French, and actually putting some time into my Commerce subjects.

I would like to know the fail rate though. It would help me put things in perspective.

Went to Mount Dandenong for dinner just then. It's so nice up there. The waitresses, the food, the view, the service, the frigid mountain air. It's cool. Might take someone special up there, when I get a car.

Which brings me nicely to my next point. It appears that I may be getting a car sooner than expected. And sadly, not through any endeavour of my own. Apparently, my dad's thinking about getting a car now. But yeah. That might change in the next week. You can never tell. One week he's all like "No. Final." Then the next week he'll be like "Let's get a second-hand car." Then it'll be back to "No." This week, he was like "Let's get a new car." In summary, I'm not getting my hopes up too much.

Today also marks the beginning of an annual period of stupidity, which I shall now call "Andrew's Awkwardness", because it's alliterative, and...yeah. That's about it.

See, it's around this time in the year, where I realise that I've misplaced the mental Christmas wishlist that I've had stored up in my brain. I'm dead serious, next year, I will write down what I want. Right now, All I can think of is a bag. And like, I'm fairly sure that wasn't on the list until yesterday. Probably because I don't need one all that much. I would ask my parents to get me true love, but the last time I looked, there wasn't much of that on the shelves at Myer.

Word of the Day: Fly

Instead of punching a wall

Instead of punching a wall, I'll blog to siphon off my misery.

I would actually punch a wall, except I'd a) wake my family up, and b)have to repair it afterwards, assuming I'm strong enough to break it.

I did reasonably well in everything except the subject that mattered: accounting. I don't know why it hates me so much. I thought I did alright in the exam, but apparently not. Might have been that, in conjunction with the group assignment.

The stupid thing was, the results were sent to my mobile while I was watching 2012 tonight, which added to my stress levels. I hate watching films like that. I'm actually scared of massive, cataclysmic disasters. Just not this particular one, because of various reasons. It also completely screwed up what would have otherwise been one of the best days that I've had this year, or at least in a while.

I'm going to console myself in two ways.

1. I'm definitely working harder next semester. That's my problem. I don't apply myself properly. It's alright with nuff-nuff subjects like management, it just doesn't quite cut it with real subjects like accounting.

2. I've gotten bad marks before and bounced back.

Now I just kind of need to find a way of explaining to my parents without getting destroyed.

I'm not only disappointing them, I've disappointed myself. I expect a lot better of myself, because I know that I have it in me to do it.

I may just partake in some wall-punching tomorrow, provided I get bored and frustrated enough.

Word of the Day: Wall

Ire Land

I wish Ireland would just get over it.

Asking for a replay of the match was sort of fair, in the sense that they were knocked out because of a referee mistake.

But asking to go to the World Cup as a 33rd team is just ludicrous. There was absolutely no guarantee that they would've gone through anyway. It's not like the spot was stolen away from them. It was a draw at the time. Either team could have gone on to win it, if not for the handball.

I'll put it another, more general way.

Every team that gets knocked out could potentially go, "Oh, they committed an infringement in the process of scoring a goal, so could you please add me in, even though I wasn't going through in the first place?"

Yeah, Sepp Blatter is incompetent and has no sense of how to handle things, but Ireland shouldn't have asked to be included in the first place.

Word of the Day: Ireland