Sunday 29 November 2009

More like 'F plates for failbots'

they should be a english section to the driving test!!! i had how they always use their language barrier as a way out of shit,

I read this statement today, posted in a group that can be found here:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&ref=mf&gid=221347833447

and I just laughed.

It's a group called 'A plates for Asian drivers' or something equally stupid. It's about how bad Asian drivers are. And it sort of transmogrified into how bad their English is. I was going to comment on how you very rarely see Asians involved in massive car accidents, but I really don't have the stats to back that up, and nor do I think these things have anything to do with race. I don't think I need to add too much more to the extremely profound statement up above. Pretty much says it all.

Imma stop laughing at irony now.

Oh, A League with Linda and her sister Dianne/Diane (I don't know how to spell) last night was also good fun. Bad game from a neutral point of view, as Gold Coast were pretty much acting like punching bags. But good performance from Victory. All the goals were fairly sublime. The flare was also a bit epic. Like, I could barely see the TV screen for 15 minutes afterwards. The anticipated grilling from Linda's parents also wasn't as bad as she made it sound like it would be. I actually quite enjoyed it. Should get grilled more often.

Word of the Day: A

Saturday 28 November 2009

Une nuit de poker

Who would've thought that the French also call it poker. Gambling is universal, it seems.

Um. Bonjour.

So last night was poker night with the lads plus Kylie. Females reprezent. Despite my fears that not enough people would come, seven people seemed just the right amount. Any more and I would've just been making Martinis and apple ciders all night long.

So like, I expected James to be a massive poker shark and kill us all, along with his cousin, who're always like "Pokerpokerpoker, nownownow." It turns out that Kyle T is some hardcore gambler who eats people like James for breakfast.

One of the stupidest/funniest moments of the night, nay ever, was Banh's cooking misadventure.

Banh: "Hey, Andrew's mum, uhhh, why is your oven so, like, not hot?"
My mother: "Uhh, it's kinda, like, not on."
Me: "You couldn't have asked me, could you? You just had to wait until mother came home."

The tarts themselves were quite...interesting. Artfully done. See, they couldn't be eaten normally. You had to kind of...drink them. Yeah. Get your head around that. Tarts that need to be drunk. Didn't taste half bad. But apparently they weren't supposed to turn out that runny. Who would've thought it.

Yeah, I have issues with my poker playing. It keep getting into the last two people, then bam! It all goes downhill. It may have something to do with my opponent always having a mountain of chips, and me having diddly squat.

All in all, a fairly good do I thought. Next up, Wii night.

Word of the Day: Poker

Thursday 26 November 2009

Picnic practice

I'm in two minds here. I don't think I should talk about today's events, but it seems wrong to not at least mention it. So I'll keep it simple.

Rest in peace Steve. Even though I didn't know you that well, you were a great person and will be sorely missed.

On to some more light-hearted, trivial stuff (because I believe it's important to stay happy), I tested out my knee yesterday in some picnic pass-to-pass. I can finally pass a ball without feeling like my knee's about to fall off. However, I got a timely reminder about how fragile it still is after I almost destroyed it again trying to stop the ball from rolling on to the road. Which indicates that I should work on the knee a bit more before playing properly, because tackling someone would probably wreck the knee for good. Patience.

The picnic itself was fairly good. Good catch-up with Orrin and Priscilla, and met some new people, which is always good. But yeah. Knee. Maybe I should just get a new one.

Word of the Day: Steve

Tuesday 24 November 2009

The opposite of no is yes

The most profound statement I have ever come across.

You're probably thinking that a 60-year-old philosopher came up with this.

Well, you're wrong.

A Grade 3 student of mine came up with this nugget.

It's great. It's not wrong. In fact, it's very right. But you would be quick to dismiss it as being an extraneous and useless statement.

However, it highlights how often we take things for granted. Maybe one day, you'll come across a situation where no is not the opposite of yes, though I'm yet to come across one that I remember. But it's one of those profound statements which prepare you for the eventuality that something like this will happen one day, and you'll know what to do.

Except you won't know what to do. But you'll be prepared for it anyway.

As a side note, let me know if you do, or already have, come across a situation where yes is not the opposite of no. Should be interesting.

Word of the Day: Opposite

Saturday 21 November 2009

Of Stevie Wonder and Henry

This story, for want of a better word, began on Friday after lunch.

So like, me and Linda were in David Jones, having been ditched by some unscrupulous people. Stevie Wonder came on, and we were bopping. Lo and behold, it was my ringtone. As if not recognise your own ringtone, Andrew.

To be fair, I'd only set it to my ringtone the day before. It was originally on 'See you in my Nightmares' by Kanye, but I decided that was too quiet.

It's now back to my favourite ringtone, 'Don't Go Away' by Oasis. It's very loud and distinctive, and I love the shredding of the guitar at the start. The potential for embarrassing, albeit classic moments, is reduced now. Don't know if that's really a good thing. It's a trade-off really.

So when I got home from the chill session at DJs, I visited one of my top 5 favourite websites, ESPN Soccernet, to see that the Henry storm was still in full force.

Please, people. If you're going to make such a big fuss about this, asking for replays and such, millions of matches would be replayed every season. A few off the top of my head to follow. First up, the one that touches a sore point with most Aussies: Fabio Grosso and his ridiculous dive in THAT match against Australia. Liverpool vs Birmangham a couple of weeks back, David N'gog and his comical dive.

I'm not supporting this type of behaviour. But shouldn't the ref have some responsibility, if not most of it? I mean, he missed a double handball from a player in an offside position. Surely one of the three refs should have seen one of those infringements. I don't see why Henry should take all the blame.

Of course all the Irish players are saying that they wouldn't have done the same in the same situation. That's because they were never in that type of position to do so. It's easy to say in retrospect, but I'm sure it seemed far more appealing to Henry to seal the deal in open play than to face the lottery of spot kicks. We'd all like to think that we wouldn't have done that, but if you think about it, you take a gamble, one kick, and your team is through to the biggest tournament on Earth. It's a hard offer to turn down, especially given the pressure on the team and the money involved in football today.

By extension, Henry's even taking one for the team, copping all this flack but helping his team through.

Yes, I love Henry. He was the reason that I started following Arsenal all those years ago. My opinion remains objective. My objectivity is apparent if anyone would have cared to listen to my rants. They would've heard me tell them that, although I felt the height of anger immediately after the Grosso dive, a few days later I came to be disappointed in the Socceroos for two reasons. Reason number 1: Italy are a man down. We let a fullback, playing in a highly defensive formation, get up into our penalty area in virtually the last minute of the game. What's more, the Socceroos can't even score a goal against them. Reason number 2: Lucas Neill and his flying tackle. Sure, he got the ball. But was it really necessary to go sliding in like that?

Cheating happens in football. The only way to stomp it out is with video replays, but FIFA seems so intent on letting match fixers have an easier time that this does not look like eventuating any time soon. In the mean time, the ref must bear most, if not all of the responsibility for failing to call up such a blatant foul.

Word of the Day: Henry

Sunday 15 November 2009

Eclecticity

How strange. I don't know if anybody else finds this weird, but this is the story.

Today, I went to a performance of Mozart's Clarinet Concerto, K622, my favourite clarinet piece of all time. It was awesome. And to cap it off, they played an impromptu rendition of the Londonderry Air, which was the first piece that I played and loved.

Then, when I got home, I listened to Coldplay and Jay-Z.

That's the end of the story. Good story Andrew.

There must be something wrong with me.

And I'm really looking forward to Usher's new album next month.

Yep, there's definitely something wrong with me.

Word of the Day: Wrong

Saturday 14 November 2009

Lip sinking

What's the big deal about Britney Spears lip synching? Like, hello, she's been doing it ever since her first album. She's never been a very good singer, so what's new? It's almost like going to a Michael Jackson concert and making a big deal out of him dancing and singing live and not lip synching. I won't say who cares, because obviously people do, but I just think it's been completely blown out of proportion, and the reaction has been way, way, way above anything that I'd have expected. It's like the people that paid for the tickets expected her to not lip synch. When I put it like that, how weird does it sound?

Last night, I went to the first of many social events lined up for me these holidays. Banh had his 20th, and it was Friday the 13th. Nothing bad happened, unless you count Victor burning the food a bit. Good food and cool people all around. Sounds like a party I went to once. Oh, and good music, once I changed it to Ursher.

The food was very good. Vast improvement from when I first ate it. Not that it was bad in the first place. Which makes the improvement all the more surprising. Yes.

Yes. I'm suddenly feeling all pops, to use Yvonne terminology. Which is a very, very foreign feeling. Apart from that, things are starting to look on the up, except for being jobless. I shouldn't have said that. Every time I do, my world falls to pieces around me. But I can't help it.

Word of the Day: Britney

Wednesday 11 November 2009

Insecurity guard

Ah, I knew this double-clash-whammy thing would always test my masculinity, make me question my own fortitude, push me to the limit, and all that jazz. But my, how even the lead up revealed so much about me. My insecurities and flaws were exposed in the most brutal fashion possible, just like a Liverpool defence at set pieces. But I also learnt about my strengths. I hope they're my strengths. Because if not, I'm more screwed up than I think I am.

First weakness: Girls. Well, I wouldn't be a very straight male if this didn't apply. So like, I was talking to my good friend David Lee, and a female friend of pretty everyone I know, who I'm not going to name because of that very reason, looked like she wanted to talk to me. See, it's that awkwardness again. That's another one of my weaknesses. She keeps like, walking in front of me and looking at me when she thinks I'm not looking at her. Cos you know, she got ditched by her friend.

This also links onto my insecurity. I'm actually still a really shy person. It's gotten a lot better, but you know. Yeah.

Anyway, I had a feeling that maybe I should've talked to her. But then I thought, nah, that'd be weird. I mean, it is me after all.

Anyway, the second weakness links back to this.

As most of you, and half the world know by now, because I've been griping about it for a while, I had a clash today, so I had a double exam, and a prisoner during the break. During the break, after the torrid time that was the French exam, I started thinking about this girl who shall remain unnamed. Because, you know, I'm instantly attracted to people that actually show an inclination of wanting to actually talk to me. Which exposed my lack of concentration. So I listened to music. Which made it worse. A downward spiral of pain and anguish then. And they suspected my iPod of being an iPhone to boot.

Third insecurity. I get scared when people stare at me. Like those damn invigilators. I'm walking back from the toilet, they stare at me. Two of them waylay me at different times. I don't know what they suspected me of, but the second one was just damn rude. At least one of them was nice. She made me coffee. Kudos to her.

Now, on to some positive stuff. I must admire our brain's capacity to cram stuff in. I pretty much memorised the whole management course in the three hour break, and spat it back out during the exam. Right after cramming French in the morning. Double crammage. Hope my technique doesn't backfire.

I thought I'd also take this opportunity to remark upon how unfair the exams today were. Surely I'm at a disadvantage. Having one exam after the other is bad enough. But not being able to leave in the break?

Now that I have free time on my hands, here's the plan:
1. Clean room
2. Work this damned right leg harder and get it working again
3. Find a summer job
4. Put my other plan into action. Don't worry, I know what I'm talking about, even if you don't.
5. Make some stuff. Star jars and all that.
6. Somehow learn guitar without a guitar.
7. Get the clarinet going again.
8. Organise my music collection.
9. Catch up with some of my homies.
10. Buy some gifts and miscellaneous items.

That's about it for the moment.

Hope everyone did well in their exams, and gluck for anyone still to do some.

Ah. Relaxation.

Word of the Day: Insecurity

Monday 9 November 2009

And yet another near-death experience

So yesterday, me and my family were having a nice lunch at the Pie in the Sky restaurant on Mount Dandenong.

I was sitting there, eating my food. As you do in a restaurant. This guy comes in. He's a big guy mind you. About a head taller than me, and he looked like he could bench press the whole room. With one arm.

Ok, so I looked at his girl. I mean, I look at everyone. He gives me an evil glare. So I turn my head and pretend not to notice.

By the way, he's one of those jerks that wear shades even when they're inside. Meaning no disrespect to any of you that do.

Actually, to hell with that. Why would you wear shades inside? You can't see a damned thing, and it's highly unnecessary.

Anyway, I turn my head away, just in case he decides that I'm challenging him or something, keeping him in view out of the corner of my eye. He keeps staring. So I grab my glass in my right hand and play with it a bit, and he finally decides to look away.

Seriously, how goddamn insecure do you have to be to want to rumble someone for looking at your girl?

Hence, my theory that people that wear shades when inside are a bit...strange has gained further impetus. However, I have noticed an upsurge in the numbers of such people. It may or may not coincide with the growing number of jerks in the world.

Word of the Day: Jerk

Friday 6 November 2009

Pure genius

I've found yet another way to procrastinate. See, instead of studying for a particular subject, you spend 15 minutes calculating hypothetically what you need in the exam for a HD.

The prognosis looks very threatening. I think I need between 76 and 84 on my Management exam to get a HD. Something like that.

French is even worse. I can't be screwed calculating, because I have assessments everywhere for French, but I have a feeling that even if I were to get 100% on the exam, I still wouldn't get a HD. I've done pretty badly this semester.

Yes. What a nerdy way to procrastinate. I wouldn't recommend it. But now that you've read this, and because I'm so inspirational, I know you'll go and do it. Right now.

Word of the Day: Procrastinating

Thursday 5 November 2009

This Is It - Exam Time!

Ah, the joys of exams. A novel experience every time. Something new and exciting to add spice to an otherwise dreary period of our uni lives.

So yeah. On Tuesday, I had my first exam of this lovely exam period. It was accounting. Fun times, methinks. I don't think I crash and burned, but you never know with accounting. Best not to delve into too much detail, lest some evil force latches on with some amazing power or whatnot. Blah blah blah.

Anyway, the actual important thing that I wanted to talk about was seeing This Is It last Sunday.

As you (probably) know, it's a film about MJ's rehearsal for what was to be his last concert before retiring.

Overall, it wasn't a bad film. I mean, it was pretty well shot. It wasn't just some piece of junk cobbled together. And it was nice seeing him in some way perform live.

What I found most amazing was how picky, exacting and demanding he was about his music. It would've been hard working with him. The guy who co-ordinates music says that it's good that MJ knows what he's talking about, but deep down he must be annoyed, because he can't just fob him off, because MJ knows what he's on about.

The dancing was so-so. Whether an issue of age, sickness, rustiness, or because it was a rehearsal, or a combination of all of the above, the zing wasn't quite there most of the time. I'd like to think he wasn't trying very hard, as it was a rehearsal.

However, one can come to the conclusion that it would've been a good gig to attend. Would've been a show of gargantuan proportions. It's a shame he died, really. As I've said before, he was an extremely talented musician, and the world won't see his like in the foreseeable future.

On a side note, I like that guitar chick in film. Orianthi or something. Aaaandd, she's Australian. Thought she was English or something. I like her for her talent. Seriously.

Word of the Day: This Is It